


Life Eternal

by keh26



Category: The Eagle | The Eagle of the Ninth (2011)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Reincarnation, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Soul Bond, Suicide Attempt, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-16 09:15:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 31,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16083059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keh26/pseuds/keh26
Summary: Just an angsty high school AU where Esca is the popular, closeted guy and Marcus is the out new kid.





	Life Eternal

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this a while ago and forgot to post it. Enjoy!

Esca was barely 5 the first time he had one of his dreams. At first, it had been terrifying: chains, whips, a man in a mask with a net and a trident. But then a man he hadn't known had saved him. He hadn't known him, but he knew he would soon. He dreamt of holding the Man down while someone cut into his leg. He knew it was going to help the Man in the long run, but it still made him sad. The pain and fear in the Man's eyes before he passed out had made his chest do funny things.  
Then, as the Man healed, they went on adventures. They rode horses through the forest, wrestled and fought, but Esca was always careful with the Man. The Man didn't like it, he didn't want to be treated like a baby, but Esca would rather the Man be upset with him than get hurt again.  
One night, his dreams changed. They were no longer playing at the Man's house, they were alone in a wet, cold land. Esca was scared, but he knew he wasn't scared for himself. He was scared for the Man. Scared he was pushing himself too much, that he would get hurt again. So Esca led him in circles, wanting to make sure the Man wouldn't hurt his leg again. One day, the Man had enough and they fought. Not the play fights they had before, but a real fight. Esca wasn't careful like he always was, and so the Man ended up tied up by men with painted faces. Esca was scared for both of them, now.  
But he shouldn't have been afraid, he had saved both of them and gotten the golden bird the Man had been looking for! It was an exciting race back to the Man's home, and even though Esca was worried about the Man, who had hurt his leg again, he knew he could save him. That they would make it back. And they did, eventually. And little five-year-old Esca had been so excited about his adventurous dream that he had run to wake up his parents, to tell them about his adventure, and to tell them how he had saved the Man. But his father wasn’t nearly as excited about the dream. Instead, he asked how often he dreamed about the Man and how much he liked the Man. Esca hadn’t known better, he’d said he dreamed about the Man every night and that he loved him, he was like his best friend. He was five years old, he didn't understand what he was saying. That was the first time his father had taken off his belt and beaten him for being a faggot.

\-----

_It was past nightfall and Marcus still wasn’t home from the marketplace. It was an hour ride with the horse cart, he should not still be gone! Esca couldn’t take it anymore, pacing around the one-room farmhouse and collecting anything he might need for a night of searching. Blanket, wine, bread, and cheese in case he did find Marcus, extra strips of leather in case he was hurt… He stuffed it in his pack, turning for the door just as it opened. “Marcus!”_  
_Marcus leaned against the door with a crooked smile. “Esca. Sorry, I’m late.” He caught sight of the bag in Esca’s hand. “Were you going to go looking for me? My leg went bad on me at the market and everything took much longer than it should.” He hobbled over to Esca, practically collapsing on him as his leg gave out once more. “I handed everything off to one of the servants. I just wanted to see you, I knew you’d be worried.” He kissed Esca’s cheek, “I’ll always come back for you.”_  
_Esca huffed, trying to be mad but unable to stop the relief flooding through his body. “You better come back. Otherwise, I will hunt you down just as we hunt boar in the woods, and I can’t promise I won’t spear you too when I find you.”_  
_Marcus started laughing, losing his balance and taking both of them down to the floor, Esca landing on top of him. “Mm, maybe I’d like you to spear me…” His voice was hot on Esca’s ear and the Briton realized what he’d said._  
_“You know I didn’t mean it like that!” Even in the dim firelight, Marcus could see the redness in his ears. “Let's get you to bed and I’ll look at your leg. Stop distracting me with your ideas.”_  
_He helped Marcus to his feet, getting him onto the bed they shared in the corner. Esca raised an eyebrow when Marcus disrobed completely. “I hardly think you need to remove your tunic in order for me to attend to your leg.”_  
_“I’ve missed you all day. Perhaps after my leg, I hope you will attend to other things.” Esca tried to give him a stern look, but they both knew Marcus saw right through it. “Very well, I’ll be a good patient while you fix my leg. No promises, after, though…”_  
_Esca bent down to fetch the jar of oil, pausing by Marcus’s ear, “You know the rules. If you hurt your leg, there will be no fun for us. I can’t do gentle.” He nipped Marcus’s neck to prove his point._  
_“Hmm. We will see. Perhaps we will just have to work something out. I’ve seen you with the new colts, I know you can be gentle.” He watched as Esca poured some oil into his hands and started to gently massage his thigh._  
_“I hardly think that’s the same thing. I’ve never wanted to fuck one of the colts.” He ran a finger down Marcus’s hard cock. “Put that thing away. It’s distracting.”_  
_This first part of the massage never hurt and if Marcus was being honest, he knew it wasn’t helping his leg either. It was Esca’s way of trying to get him to relax before he started to dig his fingers into the wounded muscle._  
_Esca paused in his work and moved to sit on Marcus’s calves so he could get a better angle on his thigh. “You’re still too tense. Come here.” He put his hand on Marcus’s cheek and pulled him in for a deep kiss. “I know it hurts,” he whispered between kisses, “but it is only for a little bit… and it helps your leg… in the long run.” He dug his fingers into the hardened muscle of Marcus’s thigh as he kissed him and the soldier let out a pained groan into the Briton’s mouth. Esca kissed him again before pressing his face into the crook of Marcus’s neck. “Breathe, Centurion… Breathe for me… That’s it,” he continued his ministrations up and down Marcus’s injured thigh, repeating his whispered directions for breath whenever he felt Marcus start to tense up again. Soon, though, the muscle in his leg was starting to loosen and Esca’s touch no longer caused as much pain. He gently pushed Marcus back on the bed, they both knew straightening his legs would help the final stretch of the muscle and if Esca liked the view of Marcus on his back below him, it was just a coincidence. Esca continued to work on Marcus’s thigh, watching the soldier’s eyes start to flutter closed when he moved instead to lay down between Marcus’s legs. The soldier jumped a little in surprise but looked down at Esca with a soft smile._  
_“Good job, soldier.” Esca purred, flicking a tongue over the tip of Marcus’s cock. “If you promise to just stay on your back and not use your leg, I might even reward you…”_  
_Marcus let out a low groan, reaching out and tugging on Esca’s tunic. “I promise. Just let me see you, too.”_  
_Esca complied, sitting up and undressing before lying down on Marcus’s chest and looking up into his soldier’s face. “Do you know how worried I was about you when it was dark and you weren’t home yet?”_  
_Marcus grabbed Esca by the waist and pulled him up so he could kiss him again. “I’ll always come home to you, Esca. Always.”_  
_The Briton sat up now, his cock resting on Marcus’s chest. “Well, then, how do you want me?”_  
_The Roman smiled, thinking again what an odd, perfect couple they were. “I was rather hoping you would have me. Help me onto my stomach and have your way with your Centurian.”_  
_Marcus knew Esca loved it when he reminded him who the Roman belonged to. Not to Rome, not to the Army, but to the scrawny, feisty little Brigantes, and based on the growl Esca made, the statement was having the desired effect._  
_Once Marcus was on his stomach and Esca had placed a folded blanket under his hips, Esca set to work on having his way with his Roman. He wrapped an arm underneath Marcus, pulling him closer so he could lay most of his weight down on Marcus’s back. He bit his shoulder blade, just enough to leave a mark that he could see tomorrow, before licking the bite to sooth it and doing the same thing to the other shoulder. He rocked his hips gently against Marcus’s ass, making sure he knew the Briton wasn’t losing any interest._  
_“Mpf, Esca. Come on…”_  
_Esca smiled, letting his hands trail down Marcus’s back, slowly drawing designs with his fingers. Marcus made another frustrated noise and reached back to grip Esca’s thigh._  
_“Esca, please.”_  
_Esca leaned down, one hand holding him steady while the other grabbed the jar of oil once more. His breath was hot on Marcus’s neck, “As you wish, my Roman.”_  
_There was a time when Esca calling him a Roman would have instilled fear, but the way he slightly rolled the R now made Marcus weak with need. He felt an oily finger pressing against his hole and he made another needy noise, “Esca, please. I need you. I need you to mark me, let everyone know I’m yours.”_  
_Esca added a second finger and curled them, pulling another noise from Marcus, “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? To go to the market with my bite marks on your flesh and my seed spilling down your leg? You’d like everyone to see what your freedman did to you…” He pulled his fingers out and Marcus couldn’t help but try to follow. Esca held him steady, spreading his legs a little wider before pushing into him._  
_“I would,” Marcus gasped, “I would like it. Let everyone see what my master did to me… Let everyone see that I’m his slave.”_  
_At first, Marcus referring to himself as Esca’s slave had caused guilt. It brought back memories of the Seal Camp and all that had happened. But now he knew Marcus said it because he liked it, not because he felt he needed to. He liked to be marked by Esca just as Esca liked to mark him._  
_Esca pumped into him, harder and harder. “Yes… Let them see… what I do… to my slave…” He leaned down, biting Marcus’s ear. “Let them know how you beg for me to let you come.”_  
_“Please, Esca, I’ve been thinking of you all day. I won’t last much longer.”_  
_Esca bit his neck before whispering into his ear, “Well, then come for me, soldier. And don’t think I’m going to let you do it quietly. Let the servants on the other end of the property here you yell my name.”_  
_Marcus wasn’t quite that loud, but he certainly wasn’t quiet and he groaned and panted Esca’s name, feeling the Briton ride him until he had finished too. Esca climbed off almost immediately and Marcus lifted his head to watch him go, “Esca?”_  
_Esca gave him a reassuring smile, “I’m just getting a rag to clean you up, my Centurion. I need you clean should I choose to ride you again, tomorrow morning.”_

\-----

Esca woke up with a start to the sound of his alarm. As usual, he’d come in his sleep and he’d have to clean himself up before Liathan arrived to drive him to school. Who needed to jerk off when half your dreams were like that? Everyone at school believed he was straight, and he messed around with enough girls to know he could keep the reputation, but he couldn’t fool himself. He’d never actually liked any of the women - closing his eyes and imagining it was Marcus was the only way he could enjoy it.

He was still having trouble focusing on the world around him when Liathan parked at school. He was finding it harder to break from his dreams the last few months. Something had changed, but he didn't know what.  
“Hey, new kid,” Liathan was whispering to Esca, but before he could even see where Liathan was looking his team-mate was sauntering over to the new kid.  
Oh god. The new kid has his back to them, but somehow Esca knew. The way he held himself, the fact that he had a crutch, it was Marcus. So he does exist. What the fuck? Even though he was internally panicking, he went over to where Liathan was talking to him.  
“- and anyway, our goalie graduated last year and you look like a big lug, so maybe once your leg gets better you could join the team-”  
“His leg won't get better.” Both boys turned to look at Esca, surprise on their face.  
“How do you know?” Liathan frowned and Esca realized he didn't know how he knew. He just did.  
“It won't, will it?” It wasn't really a question. Esca just knew.  
Marcus hesitated but then shook his head, “probably not enough for soccer. To walk without a crutch, hopefully, but not to run.”  
“See? Don't invite cripples to the team, Liathan. Didn't your mother teach you manners? Let's go. Later, cripple boy.” It was mean, he knew it, but he also didn't know if he could say Marcus’s name without letting all his emotions seep into it. Better to keep him at arm's length than have everything crash down around him.

Esca was lounging in the back row of math class when Marcus appeared in the doorway. Of fucking course. Because Marcus was really that stupid, he came down the aisle and sat next to Esca. At least he didn’t speak-  
“Have I met you, before?”  
Nevermind, he ruined it. “Nope.”  
“How did you know about my leg?”  
“Magic.”  
“Why are you such an ass?”  
That finally got Esca to look up at him, but he was saved by Placidus who had appeared in the doorway. “Oh, look, faggot patrol is here. Placidus! I’ve got you a new friend.” Esca picked up his backpack, making a dramatic move of showing Placidus his now vacant desk. He pretended not to notice Marcus’s offended look at the “f-word”.  
Placidus rolled his eyes, “Your charm is overwhelming, Esca,” the lanky pretty-boy slid into the desk Esca had vacated, clearly thinking he was all that. He offered a hand to Marcus, “Servius Placidus. You are?”  
Esca paused on his way to the other side of the room, “That is Marcus Flavius Aquila, at your service.”  
Placidus gave Esca a sneer before turning back to Marcus and starting a conversation with the new kid. Who didn’t seem very happy about this development.

Placidus kept Marcus busy for the rest of the day, and while it secretly made Esca’s heart hurt, it made things easier. He was the first one to the locker room after class, pulling on his practice clothes before anyone else showed up. They all knew better than to ask about the scars and fresher injuries he had, but there was no need to wave it in front of them. The other guys showed up soon after and they were way too excited for Esca to continue pouting.  
Practice went fast, but it always did for Esca. Soccer and his dreams were the only time he was happy so of course, both always went by too fast. They took a break at half-time and Esca noticed Marcus sitting on the bleachers. He trotted over, “Hey! Cripple boy!” Marcus looked up, giving Esca a dirty look but limping down to him anyway.  
“What is it, Esca?”  
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be making out with Placy?”  
Esca tried not to appreciate the look of disgust on Marcus’s face. “No. I’m actually here trying to avoid him. He follows me around like a lost puppy. And since soccer, I mean football, is such a big deal around here, I thought I should learn the rules.”  
Esca smirked, “Well, one of the big rules is that a player should never be thirsty. So, if you want to be useful, my water bottle is empty.” He winked, throwing the bottle at Marcus, before turning back down to the field. “Fetch, boy...”  
When practice was over, he came back to find Marcus gone but his water bottle was full and sitting on the bottom seat of the bleachers. Esca smiled fondly as he picked up the bottle and took a drink. The rest of the team had headed to the locker room, but Marcus didn’t miss it. He was leaning against the building, watching Esca and trying to figure out why he seemed so familiar.

Esca leaned against the front door to his foster parents’ house. He wasn’t drunk, but he’d had some drinks on the way home. “Home”. This dump couldn’t really be called home. He heard his foster dad yelling and grinned. He wanted a fight and the wasted older man would have to work. If he wanted to, he could beat Todd’s ass. But he didn’t want to, and that was the problem, wasn’t it? He didn’t want to win. He wanted someone to beat the shit out of him. He threw the door open, “Hey, you shit-faced motherfucker. Let’s go!”

In an hour’s time, Esca was making his way to bed. His chest hurt and he would likely have a black-eye tomorrow, but that didn’t matter. None of it did. He had nothing to look forward to except sleep, and he often wondered if death would be even better. Sure as hell couldn’t be any worse. And now that he knew Marcus was a real person, what the hell was he supposed to do about that? You’ve loved him since you were five-years-old but you’re so damn scared of being found out as a faggot that you just hurt him. You don’t deserve him anyway. Esca collapsed into bed, groaning as he rolled onto the side that didn’t hurt and passing out.

\-----

 _When Marcus handed Esca his official scroll declaring his freedom, he didn’t know what to do. He had never honestly expected to be free. Marcus seemed to sense this, asking Esca to stay with him, “at least until you figure out what you want to do”. Esca didn’t get it, after everything that had happened on their adventure, after what he’d done to him at the seal camp…_  
_Esca’s dream suddenly changed. Now, he was walking along the coast with the Prince of the Seal Clan._  
_“Your slave, do you use him to fulfill your needs?”_  
_Esca knew what he meant, and hated the conversation that was coming. “Not yet. In Rome, I pretended to be his slave, and he thought he could win me over by being kind to me. He hoped I would come to his bed of my own choice. I intend to show him how stupid that thought is, but as we have been traveling, I have not yet had the time.”_  
_The Prince nodded, looking Esca over thoughtfully. “I hope it is not too forward of me, but you and your slave would make a good pairing. Perhaps, you would be willing to take him in a more...public setting. It would have the added benefit of reminding your slave who is in charge, here.”_  
_It was worded as a request, but Esca knew it was not. “Yes, of course.”_  
_“Excellent, tonight, then, by the fire.”_  
_Esca was sick to his stomach for the rest of the day, avoiding Marcus and trying to quell his swirling stomach. But night fell soon and before he knew it, he heard Marcus’s heavy footsteps approaching. He looked up and saw two of the warriors had him._  
_“Esca? What is it? What’s happening?”_  
_Esca closed his eyes, steeling himself before looking back up at Marcus. “Get on your knees.” Marcus did as he was asked, trusting Esca. Looking back, he now realized this experience was why he wouldn’t kneel for him again. Not for years after the incident…_  
_He approached the Roman slave, fisting his hair and pulling Marcus’s head back so he would have to look up. He was almost certain no one in the camp spoke Latin, so he offered Marcus one piece of advice. “Do as I say, and we will live.”_  
_Marcus looked scared now and Esca shoved him forward so he was on his hands and knees. “Esca?”_  
_He was definitely scared, Esca could hear it in his voice. It sounded like when Esca was first bought and Marcus was afraid of being crippled for the rest of his life. This couldn’t matter, not now. Esca moved behind him, removing his own clothes before kneeling down behind Marcus and using a knife to cut off what little of his tattered tunic remained._  
_The seal prince made a noise of approval, “I was correct. You and your slave are quite a sight. Too bad about his leg, though. It ruins the view and his use as a slave.”_  
_Esca felt bile in his throat but covered his disgust by spitting into his hands._  
_“Esca? What did he say?” Marcus knew what was happening, knew whatever he said didn’t matter. Still, he needed to know, some small shred of hope left thought maybe he was calling it off. But then he felt Esca’s wet thumb poking at his hole and he knew the prince said no such thing. “Esca, please, don’t…”_  
_The Briton leaned down, spreading Marcus’s cheeks and licking up between them, pulling a shudder from Marcus. He didn’t know what the shudder meant, but it would do. When he started to push two fingers inside, he leaned forward to whisper in Marcus’s ear, “He said you looked beautiful. And that he was jealous you were mine because he knows I would never share you now that I am having you.” They may not have been exactly true, but he hoped Marcus got the message. As long as they did this, Marcus would not need to fear the force of any other man. Marcus swallowed heavily but nodded._  
_“Yes, Domine. Thank you.”_  
_Esca curled his fingers and drew a long moan out of the man below him. For a brief, happy moment he could pretend this wasn’t forced, that Marcus wanted it, and that he could be giving Marcus pleasure out of love rather than politics. But it wasn't fair. It wasn’t fair to Marcus for him to enjoy this, and it wasn’t fair for him to drag this out. He knocked Marcus’s legs out from under him, an easy task with his injured leg._  
_Marcus let his face and embarrassingly hard cock hit the gravel below him. Whatever it took, as long as Esca got it over with. For a brief moment, Esca had wondered if there was a way to be gentle with him, but when the Briton finally took him, there was nothing gentle about it. It was too much too soon and Marcus cried out, feeling Esca grind his body down into the dirt. Suddenly, there were teeth biting into the side of his neck and he yelped, more in surprise than pain._  
_“Now they will know you are mine,” Esca hissed into his ear. “You are mine to keep and to fuck and to do as I wish. They are not to lay a hand on you without my permission. Do you understand?”_  
_He didn’t answer and Esca bite the other side of his neck, “I said, do you understand?”_  
_“Yes, Master.”_  
_Esca tensed up, and right before he came, he collapsed on Marcus’s back. “Is breá_ liom _tú,” he whispered to the only one that could hear him but also the only one who didn’t understand the words. And for Marcus’s safety, he could never know that Esca loved him._

For the first time in a long time, Esca woke up with tears streaming down his face. The salt stung the cut under his eye. Christ. Even in his dreams, he was a bastard.

\-----

Esca needed a distraction. Something, anything. Or maybe anyone. He noticed one of the girls in his class looking at him for a little too long, and not just at his black-eye. He sauntered after the nameless blonde after class.

Marcus limped his way down the hall on the way back from the bathroom. There was a weird sound coming from the janitor’s closet and he paused. He heard what sounded like a cry of pain and yanked the door open.  
“What the fuck?!” There was a muffled scream and after a moment Marcus’s eyes were able to focus on what he was seeing. A girl he didn’t know down on her knees, Esca’s pants undone as he leaned against the shelves. “Christ, Marcus. A little privacy? Shut the door.”  
He wasn’t sure why, but he listened. He shut the door and stood outside, waiting for the two to emerge. Which they did, moments later.  
“Bye!” Esca called to the girl whose name he still didn’t know as she rushed down the hallway.  
“What the fuck, Esca? In school?”  
Esca shrugged, “You got to get it where you can, you know? And I have to tell you if you and Placy are ever looking for a little private space, this closet is the best. No one ever shows up here. Well, except you.”  
Marcus didn’t really know what to say, still distracted by the visual of Esca leaning back with his hard dick straight up. He was going to be seeing that every time he closed his eyes for a while… “Didn’t know you liked women…” Now, why did I say that? That is not relevant at all.  
Esca narrowed his eyes, “I don’t know what you’ve heard, but if you don’t think I like cunt, go ask half the girls in this school.” He stepped closer, “If you ever call me a faggot again, I will end you. Do you understand?”  
Marcus was surprised by the reaction but not at all phased by the threat, “Sure, ok. Don’t get your panties in a twist.”  
Esca huffed angrily. “Well, you’ve also given me a nice case of blue balls. So thanks for that.”  
Marcus smirked at the look on Esca’s face, “Well I’d offer to help but you just threatened to kill me for that exact sentiment, so have fun with that.” Seeing the smug smirk change look of shock on Esca’s face, he smiled and hobbled away before he could shove Esca right back into that closet. It was only later that he realized Esca had a black-eye

\-----

Esca managed to avoid Marcus and any inappropriate dreams for the rest of the week, but when Friday rolled around and the rest of the team wanted to go out clubbing, he agreed. A loud, sweaty club with too many people was better than being home at any rate. Since they were all still 17, they pre-gamed at Cradock’s house before heading out for the night. Esca, unable to do anything in moderation, was already very drunk by the time they got to the club. So drunk, that the bouncer wouldn’t let him in. Luckily, Esca wasn’t the only one who had gone too hard, too soon so Liathan was stuck outside with him.  
“Goddammit…” Liathan slurred, turning back towards Esca. “Hey, isn’t that Placidus and his friend, your friend?”  
Esca turned to look, feeling the world continue to spin even though he was pretty sure he wasn’t moving. “Oh yeah. Ooh, are they fighting?”  
The two stumbled down the street towards where the two men were arguing.  
“Placidus! Stop telling people I’m your boyfriend! Just because I’m the only other out guy at school doesn’t mean we’re together!”  
“Marcus Aquila, the relationship isn’t over until I say it is over!”  
“There never was a relationship to be over! I started at a new school, you were the only one who was nice to me, so I thought we were friends until you started humping me in a back-alley!”  
“Aww… Can’t little Placy get laid?” The two turned to look at Esca.  
“Christ, MacCunt-oval. Get out of here. No one likes having you around.”  
“That’s not what Marcus was just saying, he was telling you to go away. He likes me…” Marcus blushed but luckily no one seemed to notice.  
“Placidus, I’m sorry, you’re a nice guy-”  
“Shut up, Marcus. I was only nice to you because I felt sorry for you. You don’t honestly think anyone would want a cripple to f-” Placidus’s voice was suddenly cut off when Esca’s fist connected to his face.  
“NO ONE CALLS HIM A CRIPPLE!” Esca roared, suddenly feeling a lot soberer. “Do you hear me, Placidus?”  
“You’re one to talk! You have never even said his name! Just ‘cripple this’ and ‘cripple that’.”  
Esca knew that was true, but he had his reasons, “We have an agreement-”  
“We do?” Esca shot Marcus a dirty look, quieting him.  
“We do now. Come along. I’ll walk you back to your car so you don’t get humped in any more back alleys. Liathan, come on. You can be the distraction for any humpers we find.” He shivered, the idea of Placidus attempting to have sex with anyone was just a terrifying thought.

\-----

Saturday morning always came too early for Esca, but he had a hard time sleeping. His dreams were the only thing that made him happy, so of course, they wouldn’t last long. Nothing good ever lasted. He got up before dawn and went on a run. He hadn’t had anything to eat since lunch yesterday and his head was angry at him for all the alcohol, but he ran anyway. Truth was, he hated running. Especially when he skipped most his meals and was hung-over and shit. He wasn’t even sure why he ran. He was in good shape for soccer, but he ran on the off days. Actually, he was pretty sure it was some kind of weird disorder. Maybe it paired with his lack of eating. Not eating enough calories and then burning off extra ones he didn’t have. Yeah, probably some other weird psychological thing. He did a lot of things that weren’t good for him, but no one seemed to notice and he certainly didn’t care.  
He made it back to the house by 6 AM and went back to his room. He could steal a fiver from Todd, that would buy him a coffee until the bookstore opened.

“Esca?”  
Esca’s head whipped up, Christ, of course, Marcus was here. Couldn’t he get away from anything? “Cripple boy. What an unpleasant surprise. What are you doing here?”  
“I could ask you the same thing. I work here, but you don’t seem the type to set foot in a bookstore…” Marcus limped over to where Esca was lounging on a chair.  
“That’s exactly why I come here.” Esca scowled at him, “no one will look for me here so I can usually spend the day alone. What do you need a job for, anyway, rich boy?”  
Marcus rolled his eyes, “I like to work. It makes me feel useful. What are you reading anyway? I don’t see any pictures…” Esca glared again, holding up the book so Marcus could read the cover. “You read Kafka?!”  
Esca smirked at the shock in his voice, “Doesn’t everyone with daddy issues love The Metamorphosis? Nothing like literally turning into a giant insect to describe how your family really feels about you.” Marcus was standing there in a stunned silence and Esca sighed. “If you work here, maybe you can help me find something. I was looking for The Inferno earlier but I didn’t see it. Any ideas?”  
“Like, Dante’s Inferno?”  
“No, Thomas the Tank Engine’s Inferno. Yes, Dante.” Esca curled back up in his chair, pouting. “Forget it. I’ll just have to imagine what circle of hell I’m going to.”  
Esca stayed in his chair for most of the morning, finally getting up to go to the bathroom. When he came back, a receipt showing the store had ordered Dante’s Inferno was sitting on his chair.

By the time the store closed at 8:00, it was pouring rain outside. Marcus watched Esca pull his worn hoodie up and prepare for the onslaught. “Esca.”  
“What?”  
“I can drive you home. It’s freezing and rainy out there.”  
“No,” Esca didn’t think about it. He didn’t need to be stuck alone in a small space with Marcus.  
“Look, I have some stuff to carry out to the car and I could use some help. My leg is bad because of the weather so it’s harder to carry stuff.” It was a lie, but he had a feeling Esca couldn’t say no to that.  
He couldn’t, because soon Esca was carrying a not-heavy box to Marcus’s old Subaru.  
“Thank you, Esca.”  
The drive was awkward at first. “You know, I’ve never read The Metamorphosis. Good for daddy issues, you say?”  
Esca snorted, “What would a little rich boy like you know about daddy issues?”  
Marcus rolled his eyes, “My dad died when I was little. My parents and I were driving to the airport in Rome from Naples when a truck in the other lane veered into ours and crashed right into the driver’s side. It hit my dad so hard that he was crushed and ended up where the back seat was. Where I was sitting. I was pushed into the trunk except for my leg, which was broken in five places. My mom had barely a scratch, but she never got over it. She said she sent me to England because they have different treatment options here for my leg, but I think I was just starting to look too much like my dad.”  
Esca was quiet, finally whispering, “I’m sorry. My parents and two brothers died two years ago. I was away on football and someone broke into my house and shot them all. I’m only here because I was gone with school.”  
Marcus huffed, “Shit. I’m sorry, Esca. Placidus mentioned your parents had died.” He didn’t mention he’d called him the Scholarship Kid.  
Esca shorted bitterly, “Yeah. Funny how you think people are your friends until you go from the richest kid in school to the poorest. Turns out my father was into some shady business, hence the execution-style murders. Also meant the government took everything so I’m getting nothing. The school was able to arrange foster care in the area so I could keep playing football for them, but that’s all I am to everyone in this school. Not a person, just someone to score the goals so scouts will view the team and maybe some of the richer kids will get scholarships for University.”  
Marcus was quiet for a long time, having pulled over on the side of a quiet road so he could focus. “I’m sorry Esca, I’m glad you’re still at school. Even if you are kind of an ass sometimes. Most of the time.”  
Esca gave a small smile, fishing into his bag to pull out the book he’d just bought, “Here. You can borrow The Metamorphosis if you want. It’s an easy read, like 50 pages.”  
Marcus pretended to be offended, “Just because you can’t count to 50 doesn’t mean I can’t read 50 pages.”  
Esca threw the book at him to cover the smile on his face.

\-----

Now that Placidus was no longer his friend, Marcus had been worried he’d be sitting alone at lunch again. He was just starting to pick at his food when a beautiful redhead sat down across the table from him, “Hey, is this seat taken?”  
Marcus looked surprised but shook his head, “No, go ahead…”  
She smiled and held out a hand, “Hi, I’m Cottia. I saw you sitting alone and since I have no friends I usually sit alone, so I figured, why not let us sit alone together?”  
Marcus smiled, liking her already, “You have no friends? Come on.”  
“Oh it’s true,” she said, nodding. “See I’ve always been really chubby, which made me not very popular, and then this summer I got really into weight-lifting so I got skinny and now all the boys that used to call me names are suddenly being really nice to me and all the girls can’t decide if they want to pretend to be my friend or hate me because their boyfriends suddenly like me.”  
Marcus nodded, “Yeah, I don’t know much about girls, but guys are real assholes. They are just disappointed that you’re beautiful and they’ve screwed up their chance with you.”  
Cottia smiled, looking him over. “Hey, do you want to come to the weight room with me after school? I know you have trouble with your leg, but there are other machines and I might be able to help you strengthen your leg”  
Marcus smiled back, “Yeah, I’d love to.”

Esca was not trying to read Marcus and Cottia’s lips. He wasn’t. He was just staring at her because she was suddenly skinny and attractive. That was it, honest. It wasn’t jealous at all that the prettiest girl in school was talking to Marcus and smiling way too much…  
Cradock followed his gaze, “I know right? Cottia the Cow got hot, what the hell?”  
“What? Oh, yeah. And of course, she’s set her sights on the new guy.”  
Cradock laughed, “the cow and the cripple. Go figure.”  
Esca’s hand clenched and he fought the urge to punch Cradock. No one calls him a cripple. The words he screamed at Placidus rang through his head, but now was not the time to cause a scene.

Esca was certainly not following Cottia and Marcus to see where they were going together after school. It just so happened that they were heading towards the gym where the locker rooms were and he had football practice so he also needed to be going there. So it was really just good luck that they were all heading the same way. And that Esca was following them at a distance so they wouldn’t notice that he certainly wasn’t noticing the way Cottia’s hand kept touching Marcus’s arm. And he totally didn’t want to rip her arm off. That would be silly.  
“Ok, Marcus. Go get changed and I’ll meet you out here so I can show you where the weight room is.” She grinned at him before disappearing into the girl’s locker room.  
Esca followed Marcus inside to the boy’s locker room where most of the team was getting ready for practice.  
“So, lifting weights?” Esca raised an eyebrow, “don’t hurt yourself, yeah?” It came out like a taunt, and that was Esca’s point, but he hoped Marcus knew that he really meant it. Please don’t hurt yourself.  
Marcus just rolled his eyes, turning back to a locker to pull off his clothes to change. And Esca was very careful not to look. Esca changed into shorts, but when he pulled off his shirt there was a sharp inhale behind him. He knew what Marcus was seeing. Old scars from a belt buckle, new bruises from his step-father’s kicks, and probably still some cuts from the beer bottle Todd had thrown at his back recently. “Esca, what happened to your back?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth the locker room went completely silent. Suddenly able to hear a pin drop, Marcus realized too late that he’d done something wrong. Esca turned on him with darker eyes than he’d ever seen, and for the first time, he was afraid of the little Briton. Before he knew it, Esca had him pinned by the throat against the locker.  
“If you ever ask me that again, I’ll fucking kill you. Understand?” Marcus didn’t immediately answer, too shocked by the reaction. Esca tightened his grip so Marcus couldn’t breathe. “I said, do you understand?” Marcus nodded and Esca let go, returning to his locker to pull on a ratty t-shirt before storming out of the locker room.  
When he was gone, Cradock came over and hit Marcus on the shoulder, a little harder than necessary. “Don’t feel too bad. He stabbed the last guy who asked him that. You got off easy, mate!”

Esca was still angry after practice, although it wasn’t because Marcus had asked about his back. It was because he came back to the locker room and Marcus’s stuff was still there. Which meant he was still in the weight room with Cottia. Possibly alone. He paced for a little bit, waiting until everyone else left before deciding he had to know and heading for the weight room. He resisted the urge to barge in and instead came in as quietly as he could. Maybe they wouldn’t even notice him. At first, they didn’t. Cottia had a hand on Marcus’s bad thigh, urging him to lift the empty leg weight bar. She was saying something about how a light enough weight could actually help him strengthen his leg. I swear to God if she hurts him… But then Esca noticed there wasn’t any pain on Marcus’s face, just determination. Somehow, this made it worse. Esca had always thought he was the only one who could help Marcus with his bad leg, but apparently, he didn’t need him for that, either. He turned to go just when Marcus spotted him,  
“Esca. What are you doing here?” It wasn’t angry, but it wasn’t entirely friendly, either. Well. You did strangle him a little.  
Before he knew it, Esca had turned back to Marcus and was saying something he had never said before, “I’m sorry. For going off on you earlier. I don’t like it when people bring that up.”  
Marcus seemed just as surprised at the apology, sitting up so he was straddling the bench. And fucking Cottia is still squatting next to him. “I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to pry, I was just surprised and worried and before I knew it I had asked. It isn’t any of my business.”  
Esca gave him a curt nod and left the room before he had to see Cottia touching Marcus’s bare thigh any longer.

\-----

Esca wasn’t sure why he agreed to let Marcus drive him home from the bookstore again. It wasn’t even raining this time. Oh right, it was because he couldn’t say no to Marcus. He got into the car and waited for Marcus to get in. “Thanks for the ride.”  
“You don’t sound very thankful.” Esca looked over and Marcus smirked at him, “I did get you a present, though.”  
Esca frowned, “What? Why?”  
Marcus shrugged, “It’s not really that exciting.” He pulled out a book and handed it to Esca. It was Dante’s Inferno. “I read it, and I’ve decided you’re going to the fifth circle of hell. It’s where people who are always angry go.”  
Esca nodded thoughtfully, “That makes sense to me. What’s my punishment?”  
“Well, at first I thought you’d be among the wrathful and have to fight others for all eternity…”  
Esca nodded some more, “I can see that. Actually, I think I would like that.”  
“Exactly.” Marcus was smirking now, “So I realized you wouldn’t be with the wrathful. You’d be laying down in the mud under the river with the sullen. Where you could pout for the rest of eternity.”  
Esca started to make a face before realized that was probably the sullen look Marcus was talking about. “I am not sullen and I certainly do not pout...”  
Marcus was laughing as Esca proved him right. “Oh don’t worry, you look cute when you sulk. You clearly think you’re being all brooding and mysterious, but you’re really just pouting.”  
That only managed to make Esca more offended, “I hardly think I look cute, Marcus.”  
“You do,” Marcus was the one nodding now, “Placidus and I were discussing it one day when I was trying to get him to focus on something other than me. He agreed with me.”  
“Marcus, even I know that just because someone is gay doesn’t mean they like me.” Esca rolled his eyes.  
“Well there is only a sample size of two, and you are two for two.”  
Esca didn’t understand, “Marcus, Placidus doesn’t like me. Even if he did, gross.”  
“He does like you.” Marcus looked serious now, more serious that Esca had ever seen him, “Maybe not in the way you want someone to like you, he sees you like something to win, something to tame. That’s why he’s always bothering you.”  
Esca’s face was screwed up in thought when Marcus could see his expression change. “Wait, two for two, so you like me too…”  
Marcus actually laughed, “Remember when I caught you coming out of the closet? Pun intended. You told me you’d kill me if I insinuated you were gay so I told you that I wouldn’t help you with your blue balls? All you had to do was ask… Or at least not look like you wanted to murder me.” Marcus noticed Esca wasn’t smiling anymore. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to hit on you or anything, I just - thought you knew that most people in the school think you’re hot. Mean, but hot.”  
Esca rubbed his face, not sure what he was trying to say, but before he knew it he was telling Marcus everything. “When I was five I started dreaming about a man. It wasn’t sexual or anything, I was five, but I dreamed about him every night and we had all these great adventures. So I always woke up excited and told my parents and my brothers about it. Well, my dad thought it was pretty gay to be dreaming about a man - the same man - that often and he didn’t like that. After he beat me the first time for dreaming about a man every night, I stopped telling them about it. But I think he never quite trusted me again. I had to be careful to never mention male friends too often because if I did I would get the belt. Turns out he thought he could beat the gay out of me. They died last year but my foster father is the same way. I call Placidus names, but the only time I’ve hit him is when you called you a cripple. The guys on my team aren’t so nice. He used to get beaten up often until Placidus’s father threatened to hire a lawyer and sue everyone. He’s one of the richest families in school, so he could do it. I’m the scholarship kid with no inheritance. I can’t hire a lawyer.”  
Marcus chewed his lip. He would do anything for Esca but he didn’t know what to do about this. So instead, he did something totally selfish and cupped Esca’s cheek in his hand so he could kiss him. Marcus had kissed people before, but it had never felt like this. There was a slightly electric tingle to his skin and he was just about to pull back when Esca seemed to wake up and kiss him back. Marcus would never tell him this, but Esca was a little awkward with his movements. Fuck, was this his first kiss? What about all the girls… He pulled back enough to look at Esca’s face and see how the deep blush spread all the way to Esca’s funny looking (but adorable) ears.  
“Is this your first kiss?”  
Somehow, the blush managed to get darker, “Was I that bad?”  
Marcus kissed him again, briefly, “No. Honestly, I’ve never felt like that before when I kissed someone. You just seemed timid. Which doesn’t seem like you.” Great, Esca isn’t looking at me.  
“Yeah, well I’ve never kissed anyone before. I don’t really like women so I’ve never wanted to kiss one before and I’ve obviously never had a chance with a man…” At least not when I’m awake. “It was better than I’d hoped,” Esca admitted softly and Marcus’s heart broke a little.  
“Fuck, come here, Esca.” Drawing a small yelp of surprise from Esca, Marcus pulled him over so he was straddling his lap. He sighed into Esca’s neck, kissing the ticklish skin slowly, “I don’t know what to do. On the one hand, I want to get to know you in a very personal way…” He nipped Esca’s ear and the Briton’s breath hitched, “On the other hand, you deserve a lot better than a quick fuck in the car…”  
No, I really don’t. Esca would have to take what he could get. “I think a quick fuck in the car sounds lovely. And maybe Monday after school we can meet up and make more… detailed plans?” If he was being honest, he was terrified. But it was Marcus and this was all he’d ever wanted.  
Marcus grinned, his hands sliding under Esca’s shirt as he kissed his neck. “You are going to spoil me rotten, aren’t you?”  
Esca smiled too, his hand gripping Marcus’s neck when he leaned in to kiss him again, “Do you want me to?”  
A deep sound that could have been a growl escaped from Marcus, “Mm, yeah I do.” He looked to his side and reached around for the lever. Suddenly the seat fell backward and Marcus was flat on his back, grinning up at Esca. “Much better. Come here, you.” He reached up and slid his hand around the back of Esca’s neck, pulling him down for a gentle kiss. “God damn you’re hot. I could do this forever.”  
Esca gave him a crooked grin, Marcus’s encouragement helping settle his nerves. So what if it was his first time having real sex? He’d fucked Marcus plenty of times in his dreams… He knew what Marcus liked, it couldn’t be that different… right?  
He was still kind of surprised Marcus liked him, but based on the heated look in his eyes, Marcus really did. He was overthinking it. He needed to stop and just focus on the man beneath him.  
Esca leaned down and kissed Marcus again, moving so he was lying on top of the larger man. Even through both their jeans he could feel Marcus was hard. That made him feel better too. Esca slid down as best he could, nuzzling against the bulge in Marcus’s pants. “Mm. You really are into this. Shall I let you out?” He didn’t wait for an answer, undoing Marcus’s jeans and pulling them down just enough to let his cock bounce out. He grinned as it curved a little to the left. Just like he expected it to. His tongue flicked out to taste the tip and it tasted familiar as well, albeit a little cleaner than it would be in Roman Briton.  
Marcus groaned and Esca smiled, burying his face into the crease above his thigh. Marcus’s smell was stronger there and Esca loved it. It smelled like home. He almost jumped when Marcus’s fingers traced the line of his jaw. “You going to stay there all night?”  
Esca smiled, biting Marcus’s thigh and causing another small groan. “Maybe. I like it down here.”  
Marcus smiled back, running his fingers through Esca’s hair. “I like you down there too. But I need to get home or my Uncle will come looking for me.” He sat up a little and looked at Esca fondly, “I wouldn’t have pegged you for a cuddler. But I love it.”  
Esca nipped him on the thigh again, “I know you’re a cuddler. You’re like a big, soft teddy bear.” He glanced up at Marcus and his grin darkened, “A teddy bear with a cock I’d like to ride.”  
Marcus laughed, gripping Esca’s hair and pulling him up, “We may have to work up to that. Until then, get up here. It’s not fair for you to have all the fun down there.”  
He kissed Esca again, but this time his hold on Esca’s head was harder and the kiss was less gentle. There was a neediness to it this time and Esca was feeling the same way. He kissed Marcus hard enough that soon they were both gasping for breath when they came up for air. Marcus gripped Esca’s face in his hands while Esca held himself up with one hand and continued to tug too-slowly on Marcus.  
Marcus let out a pained groan at Esca’s teasing and finally pushed Esca back. “I need you naked. Get those fucking clothes off, I can’t take it anymore.”  
Esca laughed, delighted at the reaction he was getting, but peeled his shirt off before struggling out of his pants. Marcus groaned again, thrusting up into Esca so they were skin to skin. “Fuck, I need to feel you.”  
“Well you can’t do that with your clothes on, now can you.” Esca pulled at Marcus’s shirt and he rose up enough for Esca to get it off, unable to keep from rubbing his hard cock against the man above him. “Let’s get your pants off, too,” Esca whispered, sucking Marcus’s earlobe briefly before moving out of Marcus’s reach to pull his pants and underwear off. Marcus made an irritated noise but let Esca do it. He did have a point, it was hard to fuck with your clothes on.  
Esca laid back down on Marcus and returned to kissing him. He knew Marcus didn’t have all night, but it didn’t mean he didn’t want to enjoy this.  
Marcus ran his hands down Esca’s body, grabbing his ass and squeezing like he was trying to mold clay. “I love your ass,” he muttered into Esca’s mouth. “Can’t take my eyes off it at school. Fucking distracting.”  
Esca gave him another crooked grin, “good. You keep your attention on me and I’ll let you play with it.” He bit Marcus’s neck gently, not wanting to leave a mark, “maybe I’ll even let you fuck it. Would you like that, Marcus?”  
Marcus groaned, his finger sliding over the hole, “fuck yeah I would. I’d do anything for it.” As if to prove it, his hips jerked up against Esca’s and Esca rewarded him by lowering his hips enough for their cocks to rub together. Marcus groaned again and Esca sat up.  
“If you’re going to fuck me, you’re going to have to prepare me. Think you can do that?”  
Marcus’s mouth actually watered and he pulled Esca’s thighs towards him, “I’ve been thinking about tasting you since I first met you.”  
“Yeah, we’ll I’ve been thinking about tasting your cock since I first met you. Let me roll over.”  
Marcus made an unhappy noise but did allow Esca to roll over so he could suck Marcus while Marcus hungrily put his tongue, and then his fingers to work stretching Esca carefully and making sure he was nice and wet.  
Finally, Marcus was satisfied and he started kissing Esca’s thigh. “You’re ready, Esca. Please let me fuck you now, please. I won’t last much longer with your mouth on me.”  
Esca smirked and he climbed back around and sat on Marcus’s hips. He lifted his hips and kissed Marcus hungrily while the larger man guided his way into Esca. Esca’s breath hitched but Marcus had done a good job of stretching him out so the pain didn’t last long.  
Marcus was gasping below him, “Oh, God, you’re so tight. Fuck, Esca, this is perfect, you’re perfect. I’m not going to last long but I’m not letting you out of my car until I’ve sucked your cock and come in you.”  
Esca laughed at Marcus’s plan, moving his hips slowly at first to get used to the feeling before starting to move faster. He could feel Marcus start to tense up, losing the rhythm he had under Esca, and the little Briton remembered something Marcus liked. He pulled Marcus’s hands off his hips and held them above his head, holding him there so Marcus would feel trapped. This did the trick because the next thing he knew Marcus was coming and moaning in pleasure underneath him.  
“Oh, fuck, Esca, fuck. Fuck.”  
Esca chuckled softly, moving to sit on Marcus’s thighs and looking down at him with affection.  
“I-I love you holding me down.” Marcus panted, “I’ve never liked that before. But with you-I want you to hold me down and use me like a slave.” He seemed to realize that was a lot to say the first time they’d had sex, but Esca just smirked.  
“Well, slave, you did say you were going to suck me off. Maybe I’ll just have to hold you down and fuck your face, hm?”  
Marcus groaned again and Esca had a feeling that if he hadn’t just come he would be hard all over again.  
Esca wasn’t as rough as he’d sounded, continuing to hold Marcus’s hands down but being careful to give Marcus room to breathe. He did have to laugh, Marcus was being more vocal than Esca was, and Esca was the one who was getting his cock sucked. Marcus was moaning happily and was lifting his head to make sure he could take all of Esca every time he thrust into him. “You are made for sucking cock.” Esca had to say in amazement. His mouth was the perfect shape, lips that looked so good wrapped around his dick, and the way he took it like it was the best thing he’d ever had…  
Esca wasn’t going to last long, not after having ridden Marcus, having felt him cum inside of him, and now watching Marcus suck his cock like no one else ever had. His hands tightened on Marcus’s wrists and he started to sit back, Marcus following, “No, Marcus, I’m gonna-”  
“I know. I want it in my mouth and on my face.”  
Esca was surprised enough that he complied, stopping his movements and letting Marcus finish the job with tight little sucks on the tip of his cock. Esca came into Marcus’s mouth and the man acted like it was the best thing he’d ever tasted, sucking out every last drop before rubbing his face into the soft area. “Fuck, Esca. I want to do this every day for the rest of my life.”  
Esca choked out a laugh, wondering what he’d done to get so lucky, “All you have to do is ask.”

\-----

On Monday, Esca cornered Marcus at lunch before Cottia joined him. Marcus perked up and Esca leaned over, “About Saturday. You won’t tell-”  
Marcus shook his head, “Esca. Of course not. I know what it means for you and I wouldn’t let anything happen to - Cottia’s coming!”  
Esca stood up, nodding once at Marcus before pointedly not looking at Cottia. He totally wasn’t jealous or anything…

Esca tried to keep his emotions under control during practice. All kinds of feelings were swirling around in his stomach: fear, excitement, nerves… Marcus had promised to keep it a secret, and he believed he would, but it was inevitable they would relax and something would slip up. All he could hope was that it wasn’t one of the homophobic classmates that found out. Or, he could pretend he wasn’t interested in Marcus and go on living sad and alone for the rest of his life. What a choice.  
He managed to finish practice in one piece and headed back to the locker room to change. Hell, he even took a shower, just so Marcus wouldn’t have to smell him when they went home. Hopefully to Marcus’s house, since Todd would probably try to kill him. When he was clean and dressed, he saw Marcus still wasn’t back and decided to go check on him in the weight room. He was still worried that Cottia would over-tax his leg and hurt him.  
He paused at the rectangular window in the door of the weight room. Marcus was straddling the weight bench as usual, but this time Cottia was too. They were talking quietly, too quiet for Esca to hear when suddenly she leaned forward and kissed him. And not a chaste peck on the lips either, her hands were on both sides of his face and she was holding on. Esca felt bile rise in his throat and he backed away, glad no one saw him as he ran to the car-park.  
He ended up sitting under the bleachers, unsure why he had picked that spot. But it was dark and secluded and, he realized an hour later, a perfect place to watch Marcus come wandering out of the school. What the fuck was Marcus doing in there for an hour? Esca didn’t need to ask, he knew. An hour was plenty of time to screw someone in the weight room and clean up afterward. His chest hurt and he hated himself for how stupid he had been, how trusting he had been. He should have known, no one had ever loved him for what he really was, so why would someone start now?  
Once Marcus had driven away in that old hatchback, Esca came out of his hiding place and threw up next to the bleachers. All he wanted now was to find some alcohol and a fight. Who gives a shit if it’s Monday night?

Marcus had acted like he wanted to talk to Esca on Tuesday, but when Esca had pointedly avoided him, Marcus had backed off. He didn’t need to hear Marcus’s piss-poor excuses. Plus since Marcus was taking Cottia to the dance on Friday, he didn’t need Marcus to confirm what he already knew. His team was planning on going together (with their dates of course), and while Esca could have had his pick of girls to take, the idea of spending all night dancing with some bird sounded like a pretty shitty time. He’d just sit out and drink alone.

Turns out, he didn’t need to worry about it. Half of his teammates and their dates didn’t even make it to the dance and the ones that did make it didn’t last long. Somehow towards the end of the night, he found himself sitting alone at a table with Placidus.  
“So anyway, I’m thinking if I put a larger percentage of my inheritance in stocks, then I should be able to make a higher profit in the long run, and in turn that will give me more money to invest in real estate-”  
Esca rubbed the bridge of his nose as he tried desperately to tune Placidus out. But when he stopped listening to Placidus, his gaze automatically went to Marcus, who was currently slow-dancing with Cottia while Esca was stuck with fucking Placidus. Who was still rambling on about money and stocks and something about interest rates. “Placidus, for the love of Christ, why are you sitting here with me prattling on about the most boring thing I can possibly think of. I would rather you describe to me, in detail, every venereal disease known to man.” He saw Placidus smirk at him and frowned even more.  
“My dear Esca. I’m going to tell you a secret.” He leaned forward so he could whisper into Esca’s ear, “I can see how you continuously stare at Cottia and Marcus, and I can tell that it is not Cottia you are watching-” Esca started to argue but Placidus held up a hand, “ah, ah, let me finish. I am talking to you about a topic I know you have no interest in because I am hoping you will shut me up…”  
Esca looked at Placidus like he had grown another head. “Placidus. Even if I had spent my entire life pretending to be straight - to the point that I had slept with every girl in the school just to overcompensate - and then one day decided to throw all that work away and just be gay - even if that were true, which surely you know how absurd that sounds - I. Don’t. Like. You.”  
Placidus continued to smirk like he knew that story wasn’t all that absurd, and frankly, it made Esca a little nervous. “Esca, I am not asking you to get down on your knees and worship my cock - although if you wanted to, I would certainly not stop you,” he ignored the gag that Esca made. “What I enjoy about you is the savage brutality you have about you. You are like a barbarian who takes what he wants when he wants it, and I want you to do that to me.” He was watching Esca with knowing eyes, “I swear on my honor, which you know is very important to me, that if you come home with me tonight, I will never speak of it again.”  
Esca glanced back at Marcus, who was still slow dancing with Cottia even though it wasn’t a fucking slow song anymore. “Fine. But you’re buying whiskey on the way home. And if anyone finds out about this, I will kill you.”  
Placidus looked like he had won a recommendation from the Queen herself, “Very well. I will meet you in the parking lot in 5 minutes.”  
Placidus left and Esca got himself another cup of punch, pouring the last of his vodka in it. As long as he didn’t have to look at Marcus, who apparently was not as gay as he had let Esca believe, it would all be ok. Maybe Placidus just wanted this one conquest and he would leave him alone. When he finished his drink and headed out to the parking lot, Marcus excused himself and followed. Exiting just in time to see Esca get into Placidus’s Mercedes and drive away.

The whiskey didn’t help to calm Esca’s nerves, although it did make him angry. Angry that the one person he loved would rather change teams than be with him. Even though he was clearly gay since he had told Esca he was gay! Jesus. What was he expecting, anyway? When is the last time he got what he wanted?  
“Ok, Esca, one rule.” Esca snapped out of it and looked around Placidus’s room. It was all rich mahogany and antique leather. Everything Esca hated. “Esca, listen to me.” When he finally looked, Placidus continued, “not the face. I don’t want marks that will lead to people asking questions and I don’t think you do, either.”  
Esca nodded, at least they could agree on that. “Get on your knees, slut.” He could see the shiver Placidus made, enjoying it even though he hated the man. Placidus obeyed and Esca undid his jeans, pulling out his cock. The dance had been a formal, but these were the nicest clothes he owned. Scholarship kid, after all. “I can’t fuck you with a limp dick, so make me hard.” Placidus complied eagerly, and Esca had to admit he gave a better blowjob than most of the girls who had tried to give him one. Automatically, his mind went to Marcus, but that only made him angrier. Marcus, who he had loved forever, had fucked him once, quick, and then decided he’d rather suddenly be straight. Marcus, who he had heard say himself was gay. Just because we’re the only out guys in school, Placidus… The two gay guys in school both think you’re hot, Esca... But apparently, Esca was so terrible it was better to be with someone that wasn’t even his preferred gender? His erection was flagging so he smacked Placidus on the head, “Keep it up. And take your shirt off.” Maybe that would help. At least it would be a distraction. Placidus unbuttoned his shirt while continuing to blow Esca, something Esca was secretly impressed with. Buttons and blowjobs tended to take a lot of concentration. In the end, Placidus’s exposed chest didn’t help much, but it at least gave Esca something else to focus on. He pushed Placidus away. “Good enough. Do you have lube and a condom?”  
The taller man smirked, “Of course my little barbarian.” He pulled the aforementioned objects out of a bedside table and tossed them on the bed. “Where do you want me?”  
“Take off your pants.” Placidus compiled while Esca put the condom on. Who knew what he could catch from Placidus… When Placidus looked over for further instructions, Esca grabbed him by the arm and shoved him onto the bed. “Get on your hands and knees. I don’t want to see your face.”  
Placidus did as he was told like a good little slut and Esca stuck his fingers in his mouth before starting off with two in Placidus’s ass. He would have been slower, more gentle with Marcus, but this wasn’t Marcus and it never would be. Placidus wouldn’t get nice. Based on how hard Placidus’s cock was, he didn’t want gentle anyway. Esca scissored his fingers a little before deciding that was good enough and fucking the other man. It wasn’t fun, it wasn’t gentle, and frankly, Esca felt a little sick, but what did he care? He was getting his rocks off, and based on the noises Placidus was making and how hard he was jerking his own dick, it was exactly what he had hoped for. At least one of us is enjoying this.  
Esca finished as soon as he could, just wanting to go home with the bottle of Jack that Placidus had bought him on the way back. It was Friday, and he sure as shit wasn’t going to the bookstore tomorrow, but the Jack would last him the weekend and then he could see what Monday brought.  
He zipped himself up as Placidus lay on the bed, panting and looking entirely too pleased. “Later.”  
“Esca.” The Briton stopped, turning and looking at Placidus suspiciously. “I meant it, I won’t speak of this to anyone.” Esca nodded once before heading out.

\-----

 _Esca was older now. His joints ached and his hair was grey, but nothing would have stopped him from climbing the hill to the funeral pyre he had built for Marcus. Everyone had tried to get Esca to take help to build the pile of wood, but he wouldn’t. Marcus was the only thing he ever had, the only one he’d ever loved. He wasn’t going to let anyone else do this. The only help he’d accepted was placing Marcus on the pyre. That was only because he knew he couldn’t carry Marcus anymore. He was too old, too weak for that._  
_The torch was getting low since the trek up the hill took longer now. He held it to the pyre, watching as it caught fire and engulfed Marcus in flames. The tears were slow and silent at first, but soon it became crushing. It hurt to fall to his knees, but he couldn’t help it, “Marcus…” The tears came hard and fast now. “Marcus, you promised you’d always come home to me. You PROMISED.” He punched the pyre, the wood making his_ fist _crack, “What about now? Huh? You still coming home now…” He couldn’t keep up the anger, collapsing on the ground before the fire. “Marcus, you promised…”_

\-----

Esca had never dreamed about Marcus’s death before and he had a feeling that was a sign. Whatever was happening, it was finally realizing Esca didn’t deserve Marcus and Marcus didn’t want Esca. His dreams had never been in any kind of chronological order, but Esca didn’t realize that. He wasn’t thinking straight as he got up. Marcus was all he had, all he’d had for the last 12 years. Everyone around him who had ever been kind to him had died, everyone except Marcus. Although, apparently this Marcus was dying on him too.  
Esca paused before the mirror, looking at his bare body. It was covered in scars, bruises, and cuts. His ribs were prominent and although he was covered in lean muscles, even he could see he was skinnier than he should be. Christ. That was what had happened. Marcus had seen him in the car and realized he didn’t want this. That Esca was too much trouble for what he was worth. Not that he was worth anything. He stared for a long time, his gaze losing focus as he went through his options. He didn’t really have any. Not anymore. He had thought over and over again about telling Marcus how he felt, but even if Marcus was stupid enough to feel the same way, Marcus didn’t deserve this. He was a wreck. It didn’t take a doctor with a fancy degree to know that Esca’s life was one self-destructing behavior after another. It wouldn’t be fair to force that on Marcus. Not that Marcus wanted it anyway.  
Esca started for his closet, pausing next to his father’s knife on the dresser. He didn’t love his father, at least not anymore, but he still loved that knife. It had been passed down from at least his great-grandpa. Probably longer based on how worn it was, but his father hadn’t been able to remember. Esca sharpened it often, trying to keep it up.  
Besides, he picked up the knife, it cuts better when its sharp. Without hesitating he pulled the sharp blade along his protruding hip-bone. It was deeper than it had intended, deeper than he’d ever done it, but it didn’t matter. It wouldn’t kill him. He dug in his drawer to find the duct-tape he’d hidden. Biting a piece off, he placed it over the cut. It would hold the bleeding and he wasn’t planning on needing to take it off again.  
With the small rush that gave him, he finished getting dressed and headed for Monday morning school.

Esca was actually in a good mood at school. Placidus looked smugger than he should, but Esca didn’t call Marcus a cripple, he didn’t threaten to kill anyone, he actually seemed… happy. And in his own way, he was. Things could only go up from here.  
Well, they would have to get worse first. He headed straight home after school, dropping his stuff on the floor, “TODD! You drunk-motherfucker! Come down here!”  
Todd lumbered in from the kitchen, holding a beer, “What is it you little waste of space?”  
“I wanted to let you know that I’m gay. You’ve been housing a fag under your roof for the last couple years, yeah?”  
Todd squeezed the bottle and Esca was surprised he was holding back. Must not be drunk enough, yet. Maybe he needs a reminder of what I am.  
“What? You just going to let me stand here?” He took his shirt off, revealing his battered chest, “Are you hoping I’m going to come on to you?” Esca moved closer, reaching out for Todd’s chin, “Or do you just like what you see-” Todd smashed the bottle into Esca’s head, harder than Esca was expecting and knocking him down to the ground already. Esca was expecting this to be a long, drawn-out process, but maybe he was getting one more favor. Maybe Todd would kill him quickly.  
The blows to his sides and back slowly stopped hurting, instead they just felt like a change in pressure. He let out a shaky breath as everything went dark. For the first time in 12 years, he didn’t dream.

\-----

 _“Your father was the perfect Roman, and everything that entails.”_  
_Marcus didn’t really understand the answer, but he realized it wasn’t an answer he liked. He looked around the small colosseum, where was he? His Uncle was talking to him but he couldn’t really understand him. There was this growing sense of dread in his chest. He couldn’t explain it, watching the Gladiator come out and charge up the audience. He just had this overwhelming feeling of- “Esca...”_  
_He watched as Esca was pushed out into the ring. The man was_ dirtier, _but just as scrawny and just as angry. Marcus’s chest hurt, this wasn’t supposed to be happening. Not to Esca, not to his Esca._  
_“Life! LIFE!”_  
_He wasn’t sure how he did it, but he managed to turn the crowd. He choked down the grin as Esca was helped up and led out. He started to stand up when there was a cry in the_ colosseum _and Marcus looked up just as Esca fell down, the trident in his back._

\-----

Marcus woke up with a start, fear still gripping his chest. He didn’t know how to explain it, but he knew that wasn’t supposed to happen. Esca was supposed to make it out of the ring… Something was wrong. Esca, Esca. He needed to find Esca. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. He looked at the clock as he forced himself out of bed. 5 AM. He had school in two hours but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was finding Esca. He pulled on pants and almost forgot a shirt as he looked for his keys. Esca’s cry echoing through his head. It was a sound he never wanted to hear again.  
Moving as fast as he could with his awful leg, he made it down to his old hatchback and sped towards Esca’s house. The sun was rising over the houses as he pulled into the nice neighborhood and stopped at the worst house on the block. His heart was pounding in his chest as he half-ran, half-hopped to Esca’s front door, banging on the wood desperately. “Esca? Esca, are you in there?” He hit the door in frustration, considering kicking the door in before trying the door - and holy shit it was unlocked. He threw the door open and froze when he saw the skinny, mangled body on the floor. “Esca…”  
He fell to his knees and made a small noise as his thigh twinged. It didn’t matter, it couldn’t matter. Esca was cold, too cold. He had a flashback to a river somewhere, but it didn’t make sense. He’d never been in a river and he’d certainly never been in a river with Esca… “Esca, come here.” He cradled the man in one arm, pulling himself and Esca up with the railing on the staircase. His damn leg; now was not the time. He struggled with the two of them out to his car, cursing his leg again. He put Esca’s limp body in the car and struggled into his own seat.  
He floored it to the hospital, pulling into the emergency room area and yelling for help.

\-----

Esca woke up slowly. No, no, no. He wasn’t supposed to wake up. This wasn’t supposed to be happening, what the hell? Todd wouldn’t have saved him, neither would his wife who had walked out 5 months ago and never come back because she hated Todd and didn’t think the money the state paid them was worth the trouble of Esca. He wasn’t supposed to be alive, let alone awake… He moved a little, and that was all it took.  
“Esca?”  
“Marcus?” His eyes were still swollen so he couldn’t see much, just light and shadows.  
“Yeah, Esca, I’m here… I got you, ok? Just go back to sleep, I’ll stay here and watch you. No one is going to hurt you while I’m here.”

“Ahh fuck…” Esca felt like a train-wreck, or like he had been in one. At least he could open his eyes a little bit. He could see a slit of the room around him. “Marcus?”  
Marcus moved in his chair, rubbing his eyes, “Esca? You’re awake!”  
“You still here?” It came out meaner than he intended and Marcus frowned. “Sorry. I’m just surprised to see you. I thought you’d be at school.”  
Marcus was still frowning, “Why would I want to be at school? Esca, I thought you were dead when I found you. Do you know what that’s-” he cut himself off, realizing how emotional he sounded. “I was worried about you.”  
This time Esca was frowning, “You found me?”  
“Yeah. Tuesday morning - It’s Thursday morning.” Marcus added, realizing Esca was about to ask. “You were unconscious for two days except for yesterday when you woke up for like 5 seconds. You have a nasty concussion, all your ribs are broken, and you have internal bleeding in like 5 different organs.” He struggled to his feet and moved over to Esca’s bed.  
“You’re hurt, too? Marcus, sit down with me.” Esca struggled to move over so Marcus could sit down on the bed next to him. “Stretch your leg out. When I can actually move I’ll help you with it.” He waved away Marcus’s question. “We can talk about it later. How did you know to find me?” He only got more curious at Marcus’s awkwardly long pause.  
“I had a dream about you. I was in an arena, like a Roman Colosseum, but smaller and less grand, and you were in it-”  
“-fighting a gladiator with a net and a trident? He was going to kill me, but you turned the crowd at the last moment so I was saved.” He smirked at the shocked look on Marcus’s face, “So your Uncle buys me to be your slave. To help with your leg. At first, you’re angry because you didn’t want a slave and you weren’t consulted…” He trailed off, seeing Marcus was shaking his head.  
“No. I saved you, and just as you were getting led out of the arena, the gladiator stabbed you in the back and killed you. I woke up to the sound of this awful scream that I never want to hear you make again. I don’t know how, but I knew that wasn’t what was supposed to happen, and I knew I needed to find you… How did you know about the dream? How do you know the rest of that?”  
Esca sighed, deciding he might as well spill everything. “I’ve been dreaming about you since I was five. I didn’t even know you were a real person until you showed up at my school one day-”  
“That’s how you knew my leg would never heal.”  
Esca nodded, “Remember when I told you that my dad didn’t like how I was always dreaming about a man? That I seemed to view him as more than just a friend?”  
“That was me?” Marcus looked like he had been slapped, “So your dad beat you because of me…”  
Esca couldn’t help but snort, “That is what you get out of this? Not that I’ve been dreaming about you for 12 years, not that I’ve been in love with you for 12 years, not that I’ve had crazy sex dreams with you for years, that?”  
Marcus was still frowning, “I promised I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you… Wait, crazy sex dreams?”  
Esca blushed, “You haven’t had those, yet? Well, hopefully, you will so you know I’m not nuts.”  
“You are nuts.” Marcus was smiling though as he said it, “Wait, you love me?”  
Somehow, Esca managed to blush deeper, “Marcus. I feel like I’ve known you forever. But I meant what I said before about not being sure I can come out. This happened because I told my foster-father I was gay. I admit I wanted him to kill me-”  
“ESCA!” He stopped, surprised at Marcus’s sudden outburst. Marcus took a deep breath, trying to retake control, “Esca. I will figure something out so you don’t have to go back to your foster father. And I will take care of you for as long as you’ll let me.” He watched Esca’s face fall, “What?”  
“What about Cottia?”  
Now it was Marcus’s turn to frown, “What about her?”  
“I saw you two last week. Making out in the weight room. I just professed my love for you and you acted like it was a done deal. What about her?”  
Marcus blinked, “We-what? We never made out in the weight room.”  
Esca started to remember why he did what he did, the heavy sadness covering him like a wet blanket, “Yeah. You did. On Monday, the day we were going to meet up after practice and, you know, take things slower. I went to go find you but you and Cottia were in the weight-room making out for like an hour. You didn’t leave the school until 6:30.” The sullen look was back on his face and he had automatically leaned away from Marcus.  
Marcus shook his head, “No. We weren’t making out, Esca. She kissed me and asked me to go to the dance with her-”  
“-which you did where you slow-danced all night like a couple of love-struck-”  
“Esca. Let me finish. I reminded her I was gay and told her I was with someone already but that I didn’t want to talk about it for their privacy. And I told her I would take her to the dance, but only as a friend. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting you to want to go and even if I asked you I thought you would say no. But I saw you leave with Placidus and I realized maybe that was why you went to the dance.”  
“How do you know I left with Placidus?”  
It hurt that Esca didn’t deny it, “I followed you out to talk to you about why you didn’t wait for me on Monday - I left at 6:30 because I waited for you in the locker room for an hour and a half - but then I saw you get in his car.” He paused before admitting, “I figured you’d slept with all the girls you could so now you were moving to the guys.”  
Esca deflated. So that’s what Marcus thinks of me. Guess I can’t blame him. “I went home with Placidus because I was drunk and he offered to buy me more alcohol, and because I was sad and lonely. You’d told me you were gay and I thought you were so desperate to be rid of me that you were willing to switch teams to do it.”  
Marcus put his arms around him carefully, “I don’t want to be rid of you. I was so angry when you left with Placidus that Cottia told me to go home. She didn’t know what was wrong but I think she knows you are the guy I mentioned and that something happened. She’s pretty smart, she can figure things out.”  
“Smarter than us, anyway.” Esca gave him a rueful smile, “I’m sorry I assumed you didn’t want me and were just using Cottia to get away from me.”  
Marcus kissed his bruised forehead, “And I’m sorry I was too stubborn to just come and talk to you. I’m just glad I had that dream and found you. You think that was the point of it? It wanted me to come to find you?”  
Esca shrugged, “You said your car accident was when you were five, right? That’s when I started dreaming about you. Maybe a traumatic event triggers it?”  
Marcus snuggled up next to him, “Well, I’m glad I found you but sorry it took all that.”  
Esca was smiling now, “You know, dream Marcus used to tell me that he would always come home to me.”  
Marcus smiled too, “Sounds like dream Marcus is pretty damn smart.”

All things considered, Esca healed quickly. Marcus kept trying to get Esca to move in with him, but the little Briton insisted he wasn't a damsel in distress to be whisked back to the prince’s castle. Eventually, he got the school to agree to give him one of the rooms where students from out of town boarded. The school had a good enough reputation that half the students weren't local and their parents paid for room and board. Esca had no parents and no way to pay for room and board, so he ended up in what used to be servants quarters.  
He was released when his ribs started to grow back together with strict orders not to do any strenuous exercise for a month. He had no intention of following those instructions until Marcus, who had insisted on driving him home from the hospital, had heard and promised the doctor to keep an eye on Esca. When he made it back to school with his wallet and the clothes he had begged from the hospital staff, he found a small room with peeling paint and a gas stove in the corner. All showers would now be taken at the school locker room. It was pretty terrible, but Esca was just glad to have somewhere of his own. The other problem was that he now had no clothes, no food, and nothing to cook with. He had cooked for himself at his foster home, but the supplies and the food had belonged to his foster father, who he was now barred from going near.  
Marcus seemed to be thinking the same thing, “come on, we need to take you to get supplies. If it makes you feel better, we can shop at the thrift store instead of getting you stuff new?”  
Esca eyed him suspiciously for a long time before realizing he had no money and no way of getting money. He sighed, “fine”.

\-----

Sometimes Marcus would stick around after school, hanging out with Esca and making sure he never got too wound up about things. Esca needed to be taking it easy and honestly, he wasn’t sure he trusted the little Briton not to go out and get himself hurt again. They had been working on math homework together on Esca’s floor, math is the one subject Esca wasn’t good at, but it had turned into Esca half lying on Marcus’s chest as they slowly made out. After what felt like a good forever, Marcus pulled back and looked up at Esca. “We’ve always just had fast, hard sex. Now that I’m just lying here with you, I realized I don’t really know what you like.”  
Esca frowned, confused, “I like you, Marcus…”  
“No, I know that. At least I hope I do.” Marcus was blushing now, “I mean, what do you fantasize about? If I wanted to do something to really get you off, what would it be? I want you to have more than just a quick fuck in the back of my car.”  
Esca was quiet, no longer looking at Marcus. “I don’t know,” he finally admitted, “I didn’t want to acknowledge my problems for so long that I’ve just tried to avoid the subject.”  
“You’re problems?”  
“Yeah. You know. My...tendencies. For men… for you.”  
Marcus saddened, “so you have never fantasized about anything? What about when you jerk off?”  
Esca shook his head, “I’ve never jerked off. I have dreams where I have sex with you and I cum in my sleep, but I’ve never actually tried to think about it… I never wanted to. It felt like someone would know what I was thinking and…” He trailed off, thinking about all the beatings he’d received from the father-figures in his life. “I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”  
“I could tell you mine?”  
Esca finally looked at him, secretly wondering why Marcus was volunteering such information but nodding nonetheless. “Ok.”  
It was Marcus’s turn to look embarrassed, “I love the idea of you dominating me. Holding me down - or even tying me up - and just using me however you want. I’ve never wanted that with anyone else, but damn. You’re just so hot when you get riled up and just imagining you holding me down and riding me or fucking my face…” He trailed off, pointedly looking down and Esca could see the bulge in his jeans was bigger than before.  
“You’d like that?” Esca sounded confused. When he was pinned down, it had only ever brought pain.  
Marcus nodded, “I trust you that you wouldn’t really hurt me unless I wanted it. I know you wouldn’t.”  
But how could he know that? “I don’t think I’d like to be held down any more,” Esca said softly, hoping that didn’t disappoint Marcus.  
Marcus leaned up and kissed his cheek, trying to reassure Esca, “That’s ok. More bonds for me.” He smiled, pulling a small smile out of Esca in return. “You don’t have to think of what you like tonight. We could even watch different kinds of porn and see if anything really excites you.”  
“You’d want to do that with me?”  
Marcus sat up, Esca ending up on his lap, their lips almost touching. “I want to do everything with you, Esca. I want to watch porn with you, I want to find out what you like so I can make you cum without even touching you, I want to grow old with you and love you for the rest of my life. Forever. And based on the dreams I have, I have always felt this way about you.” His hands found Esca’s cheeks and he closed his eyes, finishing the distance between them and kissing Esca gently. There was so much he wanted to do for him that he didn’t know how to put it into words. After a moment, he felt something hot and wet touch his thumb. He pulled back, worried and seeing Esca was crying, “Esca?”  
Esca pushed away from Marcus, standing up and moving towards the door of his room, “No, Marcus. You don’t want that. Not with me. No one does.”  
Marcus forced himself to his feet, having a hard time with his bad leg. “I know you have no reason to believe me, but I mean it. You don’t think we’re meant to be together? That we must have been together in another lifetime, and just like I promised I would always come back to you?”  
Esca’s face crumpled and he wouldn’t look at Marcus anymore, “You don’t mean it. You can’t.”  
Marcus stepped forward, Esca’s sadness bringing tears to his own eyes. “I do. I just want you to be happy. I’d do anything to make you happy. I know its hard for you to understand, but I will keep telling you that until you believe me.”

\-----

They settled into a routine. Not able to talk at school, they texted often and Marcus could always see Esca smile when he got his messages. He just didn’t know what to do. He didn’t love that Esca kept pretending to be straight. He didn’t go off with girls anymore, able to claim his injuries prevented anything, but Marcus wondered what he would do when he was no longer injured. What would his excuse be then? He also hated having to pretend it didn’t bother him that Esca had a large group of girls following him around the school. They always wanted to help, to make sure Esca was feeling ok. That was Marcus’s job and all he wanted was to go over, grab Esca, and kiss him until the girls went away.  
But he could tell Esca was scared. After all, the last person who found out he was gay had put him in the hospital. Marcus would have to keep thinking. It would have been so easy if Esca would just agree to move in with him.  
Marcus was still thinking about it when he caught Esca in the locker room after school one day. Esca had seemed extra antsy that day and he had a feeling the injured guy was going to try and get some football practice in. It seemed Marcus was right. The rest of the team was gone when Marcus caught Esca getting changed.  
“You’re not cleared to play.”  
Esca jumped a little before turning and glaring at Marcus, “I’ll take it easy.”  
Marcus limped towards Esca, taking the shirt he was holding. “No, you won’t. You’ll stay here with me instead of going to re-injure yourself.”  
“Your limp is still bad. Haven’t you been stretching it?”  
Marcus didn’t really want to talk about his leg, but at least it was distracting Esca. “A little… It’s fine, it doesn’t hurt-”  
“Yes, it does.” Esca was glaring at him now, “I can see it in your face. There’s this face you only make when your leg is hurting but you don’t want anyone to know. You get these two lines between your eyes and your jaw clenches.”  
Marcus was about to ask before realizing Esca probably dreamed about it often. “Ok, fine. It is hurting and it’s stiff and tight.”  
Esca nodded, “I know. Lay down on the bench. I did tell you at the hospital that I would help.”  
Marcus hesitantly followed instructions, tensing up when Esca straddled the bench, sliding under his bad leg so the thigh in question could rest on Esca’s lap. “If you wanted me in your lap, all you had to do was ask.”  
Esca smirked a little, “I figured you would tell me that was strenuous exercise.”  
“It is,” Marcus admitted, sighing at Esca’s fingers prodding the muscle softly. “That feels really good, but I don’t think it will fix my muscle.”  
“Relax,” Esca murmured, “I’m trying to get you to relax before I start. It always hurts at first, but I promise you’ll feel better after.”  
Marcus frowned, “You sure this will work? It’s what you do in your dreams?”  
“When you don’t try to turn it into sex, I do.” Esca cocked an eyebrow and Marcus blushed.  
“I had one of your crazy sex dreams the other night… We went out to go hunt but got… distracted instead.”  
Esca was smirking again, “Yeah? You’ll have to tell me all about it…” He frowned when Marcus shook his head, “Why not?”  
“Strenuous activity.”  
“Imagining is not a strenuous activity.”  
“No, but it will lead to some…”  
Esca huffed, “Fine.” Suddenly he dug his fingers into Marcus’s leg and he yelped. “I know, it always hurts at first, just breathe. Focus on breathing, it will ease out.”  
Just as promised, it did ease out and soon Marcus was biting his tongue so he wouldn’t moan. He was like putty in Esca’s hands and eventually, he realized his leg no longer hurt. In fact, it felt more normal than it had in years. “You really do know what you’re doing.”  
Esca smiled, “Well, you did mess it up saving my life.”  
Marcus sat up, testing his leg out and finding it held is weight. He grinned at Esca, “thank you. I need a cold shower now, though.” Without waiting for an answer, he went to a locker and started to undress. When he was down to just his boxer-briefs, he turned to see Esca hadn’t moved. Apparently, he wasn’t getting the hint. Keeping eye contact, Marcus slowly slid his underwear off and set them in the locker. Esca still hadn’t moved, although his mouth was slightly open now. Marcus smiled and picked up a towel, walking towards the showers and pausing as he passed Esca, “Well, are you coming?”

Esca scrambled to throw his clothes in a locker before following Marcus to the showers. He forgot how heavily bruised he still was until he caught the look in Marcus’s eyes when he saw his naked body. The sadness was almost as bad as the disgust he had expected. He started to turn back, “Nevermind, this was a bad-”  
“Esca.” Marcus’s voice was huskier than usual and Esca paused, looking up at Marcus who was holding out a hand to him. “Come here. I just want to take care of you.”  
Esca’s heart broke a little but he went into Marcus’s arms, the hot water rushing over his sore body. The taller man held him carefully, letting Esca rest his head against his chest as Marcus rocked him gently. Finally, he reached down and tilted Esca’s head up so he could kiss him. “Let me take care of you.” He whispered, reaching behind him and grabbing the soap. He lathered it between his hands before running it carefully over Esca’s bruised chest, and around his back, only breaking the kiss when he needed to gasp for breath. Esca’s hands hesitantly found Marcus’s butt and Marcus smiled into this kiss, “Yeah, that’s it, that’s all yours,” his voice was still husky, surprised but turned on by Esca’s nerves. It was sweet and just made Marcus want to take care of him more. Unable to help himself, he rutted against Esca’s hip and Esca squeezed his ass in encouragement.  
Marcus took shaky breaths, trying to remind himself that he was here to take care of Esca, not to shove the injured man into the wall and fuck him senseless. Hell, based on how awkwardly he had kissed the first time, he was pretty sure the Briton had never even been fucked before a couple weeks ago, which meant he had only experienced it once. He kissed Esca hungrily, sliding one hand down his back and into the crack of his tight little ass. Esca groaned into his mouth when his thick finger rubbed the outside of the hole. Marcus pulled away for a breath, looking Esca in the eye, “We don’t have to try that if you don’t want.”  
Esca’s eyes were dark, his pupils blown wide, “I want to ride you. I want you inside of me. All of what you’ll give me. All of you.”  
Marcus smiled, a shiver running through him, “That would count as strenuous exercise, but I can make this worth your while… I think. I’ve never done this before but I have watched a lot of porn on it.” Esca raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything as Marcus went back to kissing him, his pointer finger drawing little circles around Esca’s hole again. “Tell me if you want me to stop.”  
“I want you to stop teasing me with that finger and put it to use.” Esca rubbed his painfully hard cock against Marcus’s thigh, “does that feel like I want you to stop?”  
Marcus smiled, one hand still massaging Esca’s hole while the other slipped down and pressed into the area between his ass and his balls. “That’s the spot,” he whispered, nipping Esca’s ear, “That’s where I’m going to fuck you so hard you can’t stand…” Esca’s legs got a little weak but Marcus was able to hold him, pressing the tip of his finger into the puckered barrier, “Relax, Esca, it will be good. I promise.” Marcus felt Esca relax against his chest and he slid his finger in. Esca’s breath hitched but before he could think too much about it, Marcus curled his finger, poking around until Esca groaned into his pec. “There it is,” he whispered, smiling. “You know, a lot of guys can come from just that, I wouldn’t even need to touch your dick.”  
“Please touch my dick.” Esca groaned, leaning against Marcus when he curled his finger again. Marcus took the chance to slip another finger in, massaging the spot and holding Esca’s weight. His other hand went down to slowly pull Esca’s cock, feeling when he was getting close. It was at that point that he held the base of Esca’s penis tight. Tight enough that Esca couldn’t finish.  
“Fuck, Marcus!”  
Marcus smirked, “You’re so hot when you’re frustrated. Besides, how often am I going to have you at my mercy? I have to make it worth my time...” He repeated his little trick a couple more times before finally kneeling down in front of Esca and slipping his throbbing cock in his mouth. He kept massaging with his fingers, expecting a big load when Esca finally came, but it was still bigger than he was expecting and when he finally stood up and grabbed a wobbly Esca, there was a little cum leaking down the side of his mouth. “That was so. Fucking. Hot.”  
Esca looked at him with unfocused eyes, smiling. “Are you sure that wasn’t strenuous exercise?”  
“Hey, I think I did all the work. Now come on, your team may be back soon and finding me with your cum on my face would probably blow your cover.”  
Esca frowned, “What about you?”  
Marcus wiped his mouth and kissed Esca, “You fixed my leg, better than its been in years. Without you, I wouldn’t have been able to hold you up just now.” He kissed him again, slower and with more love than before. “I’ve got everything I want right here.”

\-----

Christmas break came and went and on their first day back to school Marcus was called into the office early Monday morning. Waiting to see what he was there for, he texted Esca.  
_Sitting in the office. Sorry I won’t get to see you this morning._  
_You never see me in the morning anyway._  
_I do across the hall. Your scruffy, bed head is damn cute._ He could imagine Esca blushing as he smiled at his phone. There was a pause and Marcus knew he didn’t know what to say. Esca still didn’t really know how to take compliments and it made Marcus’s heart hurt. Esca deserved to hear how beautiful and lovely he was all the time until he was so tired of hearing it that he never wanted to hear it again. Then Marcus would tell him a few times more, just because he still deserved to hear it. Esca still hadn’t answered. _You’re cute when you’re flustered too. Can’t think up some sarcastic remark where you blow off what I just said?_  
_Bite me._  
_I will later ;)_  
Marcus looked up when the Principal stopped in front of him, “Marcus, thank you for coming here this morning. I have a new student I’d like you to show around.” The man motioned to a tall, muscular kid next to him, “This is Lutorio Salinato. His father is the Italian Ambassador to England. I was hoping since you are… Italian, you could show him around.” Before Marcus could interrupt that he was of Italian descent, not actually Italian, the principal walked away. Awkwardly, he stood up to shake Lutorio’s hand.  
“Marcus Aquila. I’m not actually Italian. My grandparents were, but I don’t speak it and haven’t been back since I was five…”  
Lutorio smiled a wide, handsome smile. “Nice to meet you. Please, call me Lutor. Perhaps the Principal just asked you to show me around because tall, handsome, and fit is just my type.”  
Marcus suddenly noticed the patch on his backpack, half Italian flag, half rainbow flag. He nodded knowingly. “That’s it. There are two, out gay guys in the school and I’m one of them. Well, I guess three with you.”  
Lutor grinned wider at Marcus, “Well, turns out this school might not be so bad after all.”

Marcus arrived at math class and took his usual seat away from Esca while Lutor followed and sat behind him. A moment later, Marcus’s phone vibrated and he smiled at the text from Esca.  
_New kid?_  
_Yeah, that’s what the Principal wanted. Thought I should show him around since we are both Italian…_  
_You’re not really Italian though. I mean, more Italian-American, Jersey Shore style._  
Marcus smirked, _Very funny. That’s what I said too, but apparently,_ Lutor _is gay so I think when he said Italian, he really meant gay._  
_What, he didn’t want Placidus showing the new kid around? My boyfriend is taken._  
Lutor finally noticed all the faces Marcus was making at his phone, leaning over to see who he was texting. “Who is E that has you all spun up?”  
Marcus jumped a little, having forgotten people were around him, “My boyfriend.”  
Lutor sighed loudly, “Of course you are taken. I will have to meet this E and see if I can fight him for you.”  
Marcus laughed at the thought, “I don’t think you’d win. He’s littler than us, but he’s feisty.”  
Half-way through the lecture, Marcus’s phone buzzed again. _I’d kick his Italian ass._

\-----

Saturday night, Esca slid into Marcus’s car after the bookstore closed, waiting until Marcus started the car to undo the button on his jeans and stick his hand down his pants.  
Marcus looked at Esca out of the corner of his eye, having a hard time focusing on the road, “what are you doing?”  
Esca looked out the window, acting as if he wasn’t casually stroking himself, “just entertaining myself.”  
Marcus huffed and shifted around in his chair, “Well... Stop it. There’s still 15 minutes until we get to your place.”  
Esca didn’t stop, shrugging, “Who said we have to wait until then? There are pull-offs around…”  
Seeming to agree, Marcus jerked the car onto a wooded road and turned the car off. Esca barely had time to get his seatbelt unbuckled before Marcus was on top of him, kissing him greedily as one of his hands pulled Esca’s hand out of his pants, “get that out of there. That’s my job.”  
Esca grinned, his hands going up to hold Marcus’s face. “Yeah, it is.” He rutted up against Marcus’s hips, laughing when the back of his seat suddenly went down. “I didn’t know this was all I had to do to get your attention…”  
Marcus just growled, moving down to kiss Esca’s neck and nip his ear.  
Suddenly, Marcus’s phone began buzzing against the dashboard. Esca made an irritated noise, but Marcus ignored it until it stopped, tugging at Esca’s shirt until it came off. The phone started to buzz again and suddenly Esca pushed Marcus back, “either answer it or turn it off!”  
Marcus sat back with a huff, picking the phone up and answering it, “What is it, Lutor? I’m busy.”  
Esca could hear the laugh on the other side, “If you’re so busy why are you answering the phone?” Esca had to admit he also wanted to know the answer to that question.  
“I wanted to tell you to stop calling me unless someone is dying. Is someone dying?”  
“No, I wanted to make sure we were still on for the movies tomorrow.”  
Marcus rubbed his eyes, trying to focus on what Lutor was saying. Which was hard when Esca was half naked underneath him. “What? Yeah, sure, whatever. Text me later.” He hung up, turning the phone off before looking back down at Esca and grinning, “Where were we?”  
Esca was scowling, “I’m not in the mood anymore. I want to go home.”  
Marcus groaned, rubbing his face, “Ok, fine. Here’s your shirt.” He handed it over before throwing himself back into the driver’s seat and starting the car. He had a feeling he knew why Esca was mad but didn’t want to ask. Frankly, Esca was being a little childish. He was here with Esca, where he wanted to be, but he could still have friends.  
“I don’t like Lutorio.” Esca finally said, still scowling and looking out the window.  
Marcus sighed, “Yeah I figured. I’m allowed to have friends, Esca.”  
“I know. But he doesn’t want to just be your friend. He looks at you way too long and he laughs at everything you say and you really aren’t that funny.”  
“Sounds like every girl in the little gang that follows you around at school.”  
Esca glanced at him, still looking sullen, “Well, luckily you know I’m gay so girls aren’t a threat.”  
“Well considering how many you’ve fucked around with, I don’t know anything.”  
Esca looked more offended than Marcus had ever seen him, “Do you want to know how many girls I’ve actually fucked? Zero. Do you know how many I’ve wanted to fuck? Zero. I would say Lutorio is way closer to your type than some girl whose name I don’t even know is close to mine.”  
Fine. Marcus would just have to be the bigger man, “Esca. If I wanted to be fucking Lutor, I would be doing it. He’s not in the closet so it would actually be a lot easier. The fact that I’m sneaking around with you ought to be proof enough that I like you better.”  
“But you resent that I don’t want to come out.” Esca was back to being sullen.  
“Yeah, a little. It sucks watching all these girls following you around and fawning over you when frankly that’s my job and I want to chase them all off. But I can’t because then that would blow your cover and even though I don’t like your choice, I respect it.” Esca didn’t come back with anything so Marcus glanced over and realized he was pouting. “Esca. If I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t be. Trust me.”  
“Maybe you only think you want to be here because we have those dreams about each other. If you didn’t have those, you wouldn’t be here.”  
“No, if I didn’t have those you wouldn’t be here because you would be dead. I liked you even before I started having sex dreams about you. You were just so stubborn and complicated and honestly, I didn’t even really know for sure if you were gay. Even after I screwed you in the passenger seat of my car.”  
Esca was looking out the window again, not wanting Marcus to see the sadness on his face, “I don’t know why you like me, Marcus. Lutorio is everything I’m not. Tall, muscular, nice, handsome.”  
Marcus smiled, reaching out and squeezing the back of Esca’s neck, “I prefer my men scrawny, cute, and mean.”

Much to Esca’s chagrin, Lutorio tried out for and made the football team. Not only was the Italian following his boyfriend around like a lost puppy, but he was also on his team so Esca would have to see him and be nice to him all the time. Damn it. They did need a new goalie, though, and Lutorio was damn good at being a goalie.  
Looking back, Esca should have been more careful. He was used to everyone knowing to back off and since he ignored Lutorio as much as he could, it was easy to forget he didn’t know the rules. It had been a month since he was released from the hospital and while he was on the mend, the major bruises were still visible. Most of his torso was covered in yellow and green bruises, much better than the black they had originally been, but still present and nasty. He was still required to take it easy at practice as his ribs were healing, but not healed. As if the bruises weren’t enough, he still had scars from where his dad’s belt had split is skin and his foster father’s bottles had embedded glass in him. The thin, linear old scars and fresh scabs along his hip bone were often covered by his gym shorts, so they were harder to see but still visible.  
“Cazzo! Esca you look like you got in a fight with a bag of hammers! Have you had that looked at? You look like complete shit!”  
Esca had tensed up and Marcus panicked, stepping between Esca’s back and Lutorio, “Lutor, don’t. Just drop it.”  
“Marcus, this is my teammate! I don’t know why no one else cares that he looks like he was used as a punching bag, but-”  
Marcus wasn’t sure where Esca had gotten the knife from, but he was expecting Esca to attack and he was ready. When Esca launched himself at Lutorio, Marcus grabbed him and pulled him away, feeling a pang of guilt when his hold caused Esca to hiss in pain. His ribs were still so delicate. “Esca! Leave him!” He shoved Esca away, standing in front of Lutorio protectively. “Lutor, shut up. Esca, he’s just trying to help. Leave him alone”  
There was a coldness in Esca’s eyes that Marcus had never seen before. When he turned back to grab his shirt, Marcus noticed the five cuts on his side were bleeding again. He grabbed his stuff and stormed out of the locker room, “whatever.”

Marcus wasn’t surprised to hear that Esca hadn’t come back to practice after the incident. Once everyone else had left, he headed over to the old servants building and knocked on Esca’s door. It opened just enough for Marcus to see one of Esca’s eyes peering through the crack.  
“What do you want?”  
“I want to talk about what happened earlier.”  
“What’s there to talk about? Your boyfriend told me I looked like shit and you took his side.”  
“Yeah, how would that have looked if I took the side of someone I barely talk to at school over a good friend? You don’t think people would have thought that was odd? That people would have started asking questions? That taking your side would have blown your cover?”  
Esca didn’t answer, stepping away from the door so Marcus could push it open and come in. “You still think I look like shit, though. Sorry I can’t be all tan and muscular like your boyfriend.”  
Marcus sighed, “Do I wish you weren’t covered in bruises? Yeah, I do.” Esca’s eyes flared in hurt and Marcus held up a hand, “let me finish. Why would I like seeing you covered in injuries? No one wants to see someone they love hurt. You wish my leg wasn’t injured, right? But that doesn’t mean that you hold my injury against me.” Esca mumbled an agreement and Marcus went over to hug him. He didn’t know what else to do anymore, he just wanted Esca to know that he loved him.  
After a moment, Esca looked up and saw Marcus was chewing his lip. It was something he only did when he wanted to say something that he knew Esca wouldn’t like, but he didn’t know how to say it nicely.  
“What is it, Marcus?” This must be where he breaks up with me…  
“I’m not stupid, Esca. I know those cuts you have are fresh and too straight to be an accident. You told me last month that you wanted your foster father to kill you. If I asked you to go to a therapist, as a favor to me, would you do it?”  
Esca was shocked, whatever he was expecting, it wasn’t that. He didn’t answer, so Marcus continued nervously.  
“You’re just so... “ he trailed off, starting again, “I’ve seen you when you’re not scared and hurt and untrusting of everyone around you. I’ve dreamed of how happy and safe you can feel and I want that for you here too. I know why you feel the way you do and I can’t blame you. Everyone who was supposed to take care of you in your life has let you down and I know you have no reason to believe the next people won’t be the same way. I’ll do anything I can to help you, but I don’t know how to help with that. I need someone who knows what they’re doing to help us both.”  
Esca finally looked at him, “Marcus. I can barely afford food. I can’t afford a therapist…”  
“Well, you’d be doing it for me, so I thought I could pay for it. I mean, you’re doing it because I asked so it only seems right that I cover it. You could go to whoever you wanted, I want you to like them and feel comfortable talking to them.” Esca hadn’t committed but Marcus could tell by the look on his face he would do it. “I just want you to be happy. You deserve nothing less.”

\-----

Marcus stood up sharply when the door Esca disappeared into an hour earlier opened. A small woman with long, wavy gray hair motioned for Esca to step out in front of her before saying something softly. Hesitantly, but less reluctantly than Marcus expected, Esca stepped into her arms for a tight hug. As he stepped back, she noticed Marcus in the waiting area and smiled before saying goodbye to Esca. This wasn’t the first therapist Esca had tried, but based on their interactions just now, Marcus hoped this would be the one. Esca had insisted on someone scientific and aloof, and Marcus had let him try it, but just as Marcus had secretly predicted, Esca didn’t like them. So finally, Esca had agreed to try Wendy. Marcus’s uncle had met her when they both worked for the local University, and even though he wasn’t a patient, Uncle Aquila had given a glowing review of her affection and sincere interest in her patients.  
Looking awkward, Esca approached Marcus, “I, uh, think I’d like to come back if you’d let me.”  
Marcus grinned widely, pulling Esca into a heavy hug. “Nothing would make me happier. Come on, let’s go get dinner and you can tell me all about it, or you can tell me nothing and we’ll think of something else to talk about.”  
Esca followed Marcus out to the car, not speaking until they were alone. “I liked how she didn’t tell me what my problems were. She just asked a lot of questions and let me come to my own realizations.” Esca looked out the window, feeling too vulnerable to look at Marcus, “I realized I react the way I do because I’m scared. I don’t like people asking about my body because I’m afraid I’ll get locked up in the crazy house because I hurt myself. I don’t like Lutorio because I’m afraid you’ll come to your senses and realize you could do better and leave me. So I react like an asshole because if I push you away first, you can’t hurt me.” Marcus didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing. Instead, he just reached out and held Esca’s hand. “She said she wants to help me get some coping methods. So whenever I start to have these spiraling thoughts about how you’re just going to leave me too or someone is just pretending to be nice to me, I can break out of them and be rational about it.” He was quiet for a moment longer and Marcus squeezed his hand affectionately, “She reminds me of my mom. My mom never approved of my dad’s abuse, but she clearly didn’t know what to do. I’m scared of everything I have to do to get better. It sounds like so much effort that it doesn’t seem worth it.”  
Marcus leaned over and kissed Esca’s neck, the only part he could reach. “It will be worth it, I promise. Anything you need from me, just tell me. I’ll do anything I can, anything you need.”  
Esca still wouldn’t look at him, but he at least squeezed Marcus’s hand back, “Just be patient with me. I know I’m an asshole and I’m sorry. It’s just because I’m afraid you’ll hurt me too.”  
Marcus reached over and grabbed his chin, forcing Esca to look at him. He leaned over and kissed the Briton, “Never. You’re stuck with me forever.”

\-----

It ended up being late February before Esca was cleared to fully return to soccer. For the first time in a long time, he felt like things were actually looking up. He was no longer being beaten, his therapy was slowly making progress, and he was back to kicking ass on the soccer team. The fact that he was the only one on the team who could regularly score on Lutorio made him happier than it should, as well.  
One day after practice he was delighted to find Marcus waiting for him outside the door to his room. “My Centurion! How good to see you.” He leaned into Marcus, unlocking his door, “or should I call you my slave?”  
Marcus gave him a crooked grin in return, “Hm. Maybe I should change your name to Master in my phone. I can’t wait until someone reads that over my shoulder…”  
Esca rolled his eyes as Marcus followed him into his room, “and by someone, you mean Lutorio because he is so nosey.”  
“Well. He doesn’t seem convinced I actually have a boyfriend because he’s never met him.”  
Esca smirked, turning to look at Marcus, “Yes, I can see it now. The one keeping you out of his grasp is also the only one who can reliably beat him in soccer. Perhaps I should come out to him…”  
“I know you’re kidding,” Marcus sighed, “but it would be easier if he knew who you were. Then he could stop asking me when he’s going to meet my boyfriend and why haven’t I introduced him to my boyfriend yet and why is my boyfriend so afraid to come out.”  
Esca prickled at the last one, “Did you tell him last time your boyfriend tried to come out he was hospitalized for a week?”  
“No. Because he could easily find out you were hospitalized for a week and put two and two together. I just tell him you have had bad experiences in the past.”  
Esca looked irritated now but was determined not to let Lutorio ruin his mood. Again. “So. You were waiting for me. Is there something you wanted, slave?”  
Marcus smiled automatically, delighted that Esca had also enjoyed this master/slave dynamic. When he thought about it, it made sense. Esca had felt so powerless so often, that of course, he would like the feeling of being in power. His sexuality had always been a deficiency, but with Marcus it could be his advantage, taking what he wanted. No. He needed to remember why he was here. “I have something to tell you, but you aren’t going to like it.”  
Esca was immediately closed off, “What.”  
Marcus knew what he was thinking, “I’m not breaking up with you,” he assured him softly, “but in April I have been invited to go on a trip over spring break. To Lake Como in Italy. With Lutor.” Marcus didn’t miss the flash of betrayal on Esca’s face so he continued, “He wants to meet my boyfriend. I’m sure if I mentioned inviting my boyfriend on the trip, he would-”  
Esca scoffed, How could Marcus be so stupid? “Of course he wouldn’t. This is what he wants, Marcus. You, alone with him, for a week where you will both be half naked in the sun and on the water, where he can spend the week telling you how you would be better off with a boyfriend who was out. Because somehow, me fearing for my life if I come out translates to me not caring for you.”  
Marcus realized there was no way to calm Esca down about this, “It is only for a week, Esca. And it is still more than a month away.” He quirked a brow, “maybe you should mark me before you leave.”  
Esca’s eyes were dark and angry, but they both knew his feeling was actually fear, “You are going to be so marked up when you leave that he will never doubt that you belong to me.”

\-----

Esca paced awkwardly in front of the school, waiting for the ride Marcus had promised to send to take him to his appointment. He felt so stupid, his boyfriend was off on a beach in Italy, probably fucking the Ambassador’s son, and here he was waiting for a charity ride to his charity therapy where his therapist would tell him that this was all in his head and that Marcus really loved him and was really loyal to him. Because obviously, she knew Esca so much better than he knew himself and she knew that he was “worth more”. Yeah, sure.  
He looked up when a black SUV pulled up in front of him and the window rolled down, “Esca?”  
Esca swallowed, nodding at the white-haired man. He smiled and unlocked the door, “Please, get in. My name is Silvius, Marcus asked me to take you to your appointment.”  
Esca offered a nervous smiled but climbed in the car anyway. “Thank you, sir.”  
Esca sat silently on the drive over, feeling strangely nervous of the man driving. He wasn’t sure why, it was probably just Marcus’s butler that got stuck picking him up, but he was still uncomfortable. Silvius tried to make conversation with him, but Esca was too nervous. When they got to the office, Wendy was waiting for him. She made sure to greet Esca first before turning and hugging Silvius warmly, “Silvius Aquila, I didn’t expect to see you again-”  
“You’re Marcus’s Uncle?” Fuck!  
Silvius laughed, turning to Esca, “I apologize, I should have mentioned that. I thought Marcus would have told you he asked me. I thought that was why you were so quiet on the way here.”  
Esca shook his head, “I just always get nervous before my appointment.”  
Wendy gave a gentle smile, “I do make him do a lot of work at the sessions.”  
Aquila laughed, “You always did make the students do a lot of thinking. That’s why you were such a good professor. Wendy, we need to catch up, but I think you own Mr. MacCunoval an hour of your time. Esca, I will wait for you here.” He paused, looking at Esca thoughtfully, “You know, my nephew is very fond of you. I had only briefly known him before he started spending more time with you, but even I noticed the difference in his mood.” Yeah, I probably stressed him the fuck out- “Every day he spends with you he comes home a little happier. He kept telling me how much he would miss you during this trip.”  
Esca turned to follow Wendy into her office, Silvius’s words striking home. He needed to do better, for Marcus.

\-----

 _Marcus is in a dark, humid room. The warm water laps at his bare waist. The first thing he realizes is that he isn’t alone. The second thing is that his leg is wrong - or rather, it’s right. There is no tenseness in the muscle and his leg holds all his weight with ease. His leg has not been injured yet. He knows that in this dream world, he did not meet Esca until after he is injured, so who is with him in the baths?_  
_“Marcus, don’t be afraid.” The accent is different and the face is a little older, but it is_ Lutorio _. Actually, he thinks it is really Lutorius. Why is he naked in the baths with_ Lutor _? He knows this Marcus hasn’t met Esca yet, but it still feels wrong._  
_“Marcus, there is nothing to worry about. It happens in the army, you know that. Come here and we can relieve each other. It will mean nothing and we will both keep our dignity. Sometimes a touch other than your own is better than nothing.”_  
_This isn’t right. He doesn’t want it to mean nothing, he wants Esca because with Esca it is never “nothing”._  
_Esca. From what little he knows about the Esca in this world, he knows Esca is probably in slavery right now. What happened to him before this Marcus found him? Is he fighting in a ring somewhere? Is he being used for another’s pleasure? Or is he just sitting alone in a cage, thinking of the losses he has suffered?_  
_Marcus shakes his head, stepping back from_ Lutor _. He wants to say “I know you mean well, but this is not what I want” but instead he turns tail and runs, feeling the fear of what his father would think, of what would happen to him if his true desires were found out._

Marcus wakes up in a cold sweat, suddenly realizing that must be how Esca felt all the time. Fear. Fear that his dirty secret would be found out and what little he had left would be taken away from him. Marcus felt like shit. For dreaming about Lutor, for trying to get Esca to come out when he was afraid, and really just for not talking to Esca this week he had been gone. It wasn’t that he hadn’t thought of Esca. In fact, he’d thought about him almost constantly, but it felt rude to ignore his host and if he was honest, he was pretty sure Esca was mad at him. If he didn’t text Esca, he couldn’t find out Esca was mad at him for leaving with another man for a week. Even if he and Lutor were just friends, and dammit he was allowed to have friends.  
Marcus got out of bed, limping down to the large terrace overlooking Lake Como. Of course, Lutor had a huge home, bigger than his Uncle’s. It felt like a palace and he was pretty sure every Disney Princess stood like this at some point, on the terrace, looking over the lake where the full moon reflected on the water.  
“Couldn’t sleep either?” Lutor had snuck up behind him when Marcus was deep in thought.  
“No. Bad dreams.”  
Lutor leaned on the hand-rail next to him, “What were you dreaming about?”  
Marcus paused, not wanting to talk about it but feeling obligated. “I dreamed that I almost cheated on - my boyfriend.” In his state, he had almost said Esca’s name and he silently cursed himself. He needed to be careful.  
Lutor frowned, “So you couldn’t sleep because in your dream you almost cheated on your boyfriend. You didn’t cheat on him in your dreams or real life, but you almost did and that upsets you so much you can’t sleep?”  
Marcus blushed, “It sounds stupid when you say it like that.”  
Lutor sighed, “You really do like him. I almost feel bad for trying to steal you. Although I think if he really loved you, he’d come out-yeah, I know. He’s had bad experiences so he’s scared.” Lutor waved Marcus off when he opened his mouth to defend Esca. “We can agree to disagree. I’d just be paranoid he was hiding me so he could cheat or it was because he was ashamed of me.” Lutor shrugged and offered Marcus a smile, “you must be more confident than I am.”  
Goddammit. Marcus hadn’t thought of either of those things and now that Lutor had put those thoughts in his head, that was going to be all he thought about.  
Lutor noticed he had gone quiet. “When I can’t sleep I go skinny dipping in the lake. It is late enough now that the Carabinieri aren’t around. I won’t try to steal your virtue, I promise.” He added with a grin, stripping down before running towards the lake, “Andiamo, Marcus. It’s our last night at the lake, live a little!”

\-----

When Silvius had insisted Esca come over for dinner on the night Marcus got home, it had seemed like a good idea. Now that Esca was sitting in the living room with Marcus’s uncle, waiting for Marcus to arrive home after spending a week on the beach with an attractive, gay man who was super into Marcus, Esca felt like he shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t be intruding into Marcus’s life. If Marcus wanted him here, he would have invited him. He would have texted over the week while he was gone. Esca was starting to get queasy. Maybe he should just tell Silvius he wasn’t feeling well and he needed to go home. Marcus never needed to know he was here-  
The front door opened and Esca was glad he couldn’t see Marcus come in. Silvius could, though, “Marcus! Welcome home! Come in here, we have a guest.”  
“Hi Uncle, I’m afraid I won’t be very good company, I’m tired-” Marcus dropped his duffle and grinned widely when he saw who the guest was, “Esca!” Esca and Silvius stood and before Esca could say anything Marcus had enveloped him in a tight hug. The nerves were still here, but somehow it felt right to be in Marcus’s arms again. “I missed you so much.” Marcus was whispering into his ear and Esca realized Silvius had quickly left the room. “Come upstairs with me while I get dressed in to something clean?” Esca nodded, smiling, and allowed Marcus to lead him upstairs. As soon as Marcus shut the door, he had Esca pressed against the wall, kissing him hungrily.  
“You really did miss me…” Esca had meant to sound like he was teasing, but hints of wonder and relief snuck into his voice.  
Marcus didn’t miss it. He pulled back enough to look Esca in the eyes, “I did miss you. I miss you when you go home at night and I come here, I miss you when you are in history and I’m in chemistry, I miss you in math when you insist on sitting on the other side of the room from me. Esca, I miss you whenever I’m not holding you in my arms.” He noticed Esca was getting quiet in the way he did whenever he felt too vulnerable, so he leaned in and kissed the Briton again, “Besides, I haven’t come in a week since my Master never gave me permission…”  
That was something Esca knew how to answer, nipping Marcus’s ear, “You are nothing if not a good slave, my Centurion…”  
Marcus groaned into Esca’s neck. “My Uncle will expect us to have dinner with him, but after that, stay the night?”  
Esca smiled, looking Marcus in the eye so he could see how happy it made him that Marcus would ask, “I’ll stay as long as you will let me.”

\-----

Marcus found Esca after practice the next day, following him from the locker room to Esca’s small bedroom. “So, you know it’s time to start college applications. I don’t really know what I want to study yet so I haven’t picked anything out, but I’ve heard South Wales and Cardiff have good soccer teams…”  
Esca frowned at him, “Since when do you care about football?”  
“No, for you. Idiot.” Marcus was smiling to take the sting out of his words, but the smile dropped when he saw the darkness in Esca’s eyes.  
“Oh, wait, you’re serious? About me going to University?” Suddenly Esca started laughing at him and Marcus wasn’t sure if that was better.  
“Yeah, of course, I am. Why wouldn’t you go?”  
“Marcus. I’m dumb as shit. No college would want me. I mean, yeah I’m good at football but I couldn’t pay for anything and they don’t just hand out scholarships.”  
Marcus was offended, “Esca, you are not stupid. You ace every class without even trying. Who the fuck told you that you were stupid?” Esca shrugged and Marcus realized it was probably just one of those things he grew up with. Like the idea that being gay was punishable by death. “You’re amazing at football. Are you not even applying for football scholarships?” Esca shrugged again, turning away from Marcus. Good. Be uncomfortable with my attention. “You need to apply for college. You’ll get scholarships if you just apply for them. Even if you don’t, you’re going to school with me. I’ll need someone to live with so I don’t have to live in the dorm and of course, I’d want to live with my boyfriend-”  
“I’m not coming out at University either, Marcus. It’s not like people stop hating faggots when they graduate high school.”  
“I-what? I thought this was just until you didn’t need any kind of guardianship anymore. Once you got away from the guys here… You want to live your whole life in the closet?”  
Esca just shrugged again. Marcus was getting tired of the shrugs. “I mean I don’t want to, but my life will be significantly shorter if I come out.”  
Marcus dragged his hands over his face, “No. Esca, it won’t. I know you’ve had bad experiences so I know why you don’t want to come out, but the whole world isn’t like that! I wouldn't let anyone hurt you if that did end up being an issue!” Esca just shook his head and Lutorio’s words came floating back, unbidden. “Are you ashamed of me?”  
Esca choked out a noise, finally turning to look back at Marcus, “What?”  
“Is that why you don’t want anyone to know we’re together? Because the most popular boy in school doesn’t want to be seen with the cripple?”  
Too many emotions flashed across Esca’s face for Marcus to be able to read them. “Fuck you, Marcus. It’s not all about you. No, I’m not ashamed of you. I’m ashamed of myself, do you really not get that? I hate what I am, what I let myself do to you, what I want you to do to me. I am worse than an animal-”  
“So that’s what you think of me, then?” Marcus regretted the question immediately, he didn’t want to know the answer.  
“No.” The anger was gone from Esca’s voice, only sadness. “No, I could never think that of you. Growing up, you were the only constant in my life, the only one who consistently showed me love and care. I don’t know what the dreams mean or if they really happened at some point, but you… You are everything I’m not.”  
Marcus took Esca in his arms, holding him tight and letting Esca bury his face in his chest. “Esca, I love you. I’m sorry I push. I just wish you didn’t have to hide and that I could show you off to everyone. I love you and you’re so amazing that I want everyone to show you off to everyone.”  
“So do I, Marcus. I’m sorry I can’t be what you want.”  
Marcus shushed him, rocking him gently, “No, no Esca. Don’t be sorry. You’re everything I need.”

\-----

Marcus nuzzled Esca’s neck, pressing the Briton down on the bed and nipping his ear. When that didn’t get the usual response, Marcus pulled back, looking down at him, “Esca? Is everything ok?”  
Esca’s eyes weren’t as heated as they usually were but he nodded, pulling Marcus back down for a kiss, “Yeah. I’m fine. Keep going.”  
Usually, Esca’s kisses were sharp and calculated, rough with a lot of teeth, like he was hungry for more. Not this time. This time they seemed… half-hearted. Marcus sat up again. “Esca, don’t lie to me. What’s going on? You’re not into this, what’s the matter?” Esca tried to pull Marcus back, but this time he resisted. “Esca, you’re a good liar but I know you better. What is it?”  
Esca avoided eye contact, “I just don’t feel well. That’s all.”  
Marcus moved to sit next to Esca on the twin bed, putting an arm around him, “Well jeez, you can just say something. We have sex almost every day, you’re allowed to not be in the mood sometimes…” Esca shrugged noncommittally so Marcus continued, “Esca, it’s not like I only like you for sex. We can do other things too, like talk or just cuddle…” He still wasn’t getting a response and he was starting to get worried. “Esca, please talk to me. You’re scaring me. I’ve never seen you like this, what is it?”  
“Lutorio was talking about taking you to prom in the locker room after practice. And since you want a boyfriend that is out it makes sense-”  
“Esca-”  
“-and now your boyfriend doesn’t even feel like having sex with you even though we both know he would jump at the chance-”  
“Esca-”  
“-and I’m sure you’ll look fucking amazing in a suit and he probably would too because you’re both built like a million bucks while I’m all scraggly-”  
“Esca!” Esca stopped talking but still wouldn’t look at Marcus. “Esca, look at me.” He wouldn’t, so finally Marcus reached out and turned his chin so he had to look. “Yes, I would love to take you to prom, although I’m not sure I would make it out of the house with you, I’m not going to force you to do something you don’t feel comfortable doing. And you’re right, Lutor would probably love to be fucking me right now, but I’m not with him. I’m here, with you, and that’s where I want to be. Just because you turn me down doesn’t mean I’m going to run off to the next willing guy, you know that.” Esca didn’t answer and Marcus was actually offended, “Esca! Do you really think that as soon as you turned me down I’d leave?”  
“I don’t know,” Esca mumbled, staring at the bed beneath him.  
Marcus grabbed him in a bear hug, holding on tightly and pulling Esca into his lap. “You should know you won’t get rid of me that easily.” He held onto Esca, who was struggling half-heartedly, with one arm and grabbed his laptop with another. “Now let's watch a movie until you forget about being angsty.”

\-----

_Esca had been acting strange ever since he came back from the seal hunt with the prince. Even though he knew what Esca and the prince did were none of his business, Marcus couldn’t help but worry. Not just for himself, but Esca too. What if Esca didn’t want it? What if it was the price Esca needed to pay to be able to stay._  
_He shook his head, turning his attention back to brushing the grey horse. Like he said. It was none of his business what Esca and the Seal Prince got up to. Esca could just leave if he didn’t like it since he obviously wasn’t here for Marcus’s benefit._  
_The sun was starting to set when he finished brushing the horse. He returned the supplies and headed back to the slave tent. Esca never had much work for him, used to doing everything himself, but if they caught something during the hunt he would be expected to help with that._  
_There was nothing but a bowl of watery stew waiting for him at the slave tent and he was both relieved and disappointed. Relieved because his leg was paining him, but disappointed because a useless slave was a dead slave. Not to mention having a task helped to pass the time._  
_It was dark when he finished his stew; the sunset over the ocean. He handed the bowl back to the old woman, dipping his head in thanks and hoping she understood when suddenly the opening to the tent was pulled back. The slaves went silent as the two Seal warriors looked in, clearly looking for someone in particular. Their gaze settled on Marcus, and he wondered if this was it. Either he and Esca were leaving, or they were coming to take the useless slave to his death. He started to stand, his injured leg giving out, so they grabbed him roughly by the tunic he’d been given on arrival and dragged him out. The tunic was thin and holey enough that it started to rip under their grasp so they had to switch to grabbing his arms. He shivered in the cold night, the cloth not giving him any warmth._  
_Marcus was taken towards the fire where the tribe was and he immediately picked out Esca. At first, his friend didn’t see him, but when he heard Marcus’s awkward gait in the grass he immediately stood. He didn’t see any weapons to kill him and there was no reason they would leave at night._  
_“Esca? What is it? What’s happening?”_  
_Marcus watched as Esca closed his eyes, apparently preparing himself for something. That wasn’t a good sign. When he met Marcus’s eyes again they were cold and closed off. He didn’t like what he was about to do._  
_“Get on your knees.”_  
_Ok, that didn’t seem so bad. Struggling with his bad leg, Marcus got down as best he could. There was dirt under him and he paused to move a small rock out from under his knee, tossing it onto the gravel closer to the fire. He heard Esca approaching and started to lift his head, but Esca got there first, gripping Marcus’s short hair and pulling his head up to meet Marcus’s questioning eyes._  
_“Do as I say and we will live.” Wait, what? Suddenly Esca shoved him so he was on his hands and knees. This wasn’t making any sense and Marcus could feel the fear curling in the pit of his stomach._  
_“Esca?” There was a rustling behind him and Marcus didn’t dare turn to look, noticing instead that all the tribe was watching them. He shivered when there was a cold blade against his skin. Was Esca going to kill him? No, he’d promised they would live if he just did what he was told, but Esca hadn’t told him anything! He realized Esca was cutting off his thin tunic and didn’t know what that meant either. Ok, maybe he did have an idea, but that wouldn’t make sense. He’d never forced Esca, certainly never in front of a crowd, surely he wouldn’t be doing that now…_  
_The Prince said something to Esca and Marcus couldn’t decipher the tone. It sounded amiable enough, but he ended it with a disgusted look at Marcus’s injured leg. He knew it was red and inflamed from pain and over-work._  
_He heard Esca spit into his hand and knew it was true._  
_“Esca, what did he say?”_  
_Something poked at him and he jumped, not expecting it. Slowly, he realized it was Esca’s thumb. He wasn’t ready for this. He’d never been with anyone, man or woman, but here he was on his hands and knees in front of a group of violent strangers. The fear was still there, but something else was stirring in him. Finally, after all this time, he was going to be with Esca. Not in the way he’d planned, not in the way he’d wanted, but it was still Esca, right? No. He didn’t want it like this, he wanted to be holed up in a tent with Esca, where they could take their time and Marcus could get to see Esca, to taste him. Like this, he would only get to see the foreign faces of the Seal People._  
_“Esca, please, don’t…” Not like this._  
_Esca didn’t listen, pushing his fingers in and working them around. “He said you looked beautiful. And that he was jealous you were mine because he knows I would never share you now that I am having you.”_  
_Marcus wasn’t stupid, he knew the Prince didn’t say that, but he knew Esca was trying to tell him something. Was he only doing this so the Prince wouldn’t have him? He knew Esca was expecting an answer, even if he didn’t really know what he meant._  
_“Yes domine, thank you.” He’d never called Esca “domine” before, but he had to admit it felt right. And that didn’t bother him although it probably should. As he became more aroused at Esca’s touch, he found the crowd around him didn’t bother him so much either. He noticed the Prince was watching Esca closely and Marcus felt a wave of possessiveness hit him. That’s right. He’s fucking me, not you._  
_Esca’s fingers hit something inside him and he shivered, a wave of pleasure going straight to his cock. Which was suddenly a lot less frightened and much more interested. Frankly, Marcus was a little surprised Esca was taking care of him like this. He may have never been with anyone before, but he knew how rape worked. He’d been a soldier, after all, and he’d seen other men. There was never any preparation, never any kindness- Esca hit that spot again and Marcus couldn’t help the groan that escaped him. Between what Esca’s fingers were doing to him and the idea that Esca was claiming him in front of the Prince… Dammit, his dick was ridiculously hard. He was not supposed to be enjoying this._  
_Esca seemed to agree, knocking his good leg out from under him and causing his bad leg to collapse so he fell face-first into the gravel. His face wasn’t the only thing that slammed painfully into the ground, the impact and the weight of his body seemed to remind his dick that now was not the time._  
_Suddenly the fingers were gone and before Marcus could miss them Esca had taken him. The cry that came from Marcus wasn’t like before. No matter how gentle Esca had tried to be, Marcus was woefully unprepared for such a traumatic event and he cried out as it felt like his skin was ripped apart. He could feel Esca’s weight on him, the Briton grinding his hips against his ass. He gasped as teeth bit into his neck. The pain of that took away from the pain of Esca thrusting into him and he knew at another time, he could really enjoy Esca’s teeth._  
_“Now they will know you are mine,” Esca’s breath was hot on his ear. “You are mine to keep and to fuck and to do as I wish. They are not to lay a hand on you without my permission. Do you understand?”_  
_Marcus couldn’t focus on what he was saying, but he did pick up the word “mine” and suddenly his dick was interested again. Dammit, come on. Not now._  
_Marcus wasn’t sure why Esca was telling him this, it seemed something he should be telling the tribe. But he wasn’t answering fast enough, because suddenly Esca was biting the other side of his neck, “I said, do you understand?”_  
_“Yes, Master.”_  
_Suddenly Esca tensed and Marcus could feel him finish and man, if his dick hadn’t been crushed in the dirt it would have pushed him over the edge too. Esca said something he couldn’t understand but Marcus had the distinct feeling he needed to know. Whatever it was, it was the most important thing Esca had said to him all night._  
_Apparently, he wasn’t going to know, though, because Esca stood up and nodded to the Prince before leaving to wash up._  
_Marcus lifted his head, looking around nervously and wondering what the hell he was supposed to do now. The Prince waved him away like an insect that was annoying him, so Marcus got to his feet and limped away as fast as he could. He took extra time cleaning himself up, having to take care of “something else” while he had some time to himself._

\-----

Marcus has never felt so conflicted. To be held down and used like that in front of a crowd is so wrong, but knowing that it was Esca doing it, that Esca was claiming him as his own, he shivered, dragging himself out of bed before he spiraled back into those thoughts. It was time for school.

Marcus couldn’t shake the thoughts off. Hours later he was still thinking about his dream. He found himself wondering how Esca felt about the dream. Esca had said something to him at the end, something he didn’t understand, but based on the tone he didn’t think it was cruel. Honestly, he thought it was something he needed to know. Only one way to find out, time to text Esca.  
_Have you dreamed about the Seal People?_  
_Sometimes, why? Did you dream about them last night?_  
_Yeah. It was… a very memorable night. Have you had that dream?_  
There was a long pause and Marcus knew Esca had.  
_I’m really sorry about that Marcus. If I didn’t do it to you the prince would have. And I couldn’t let him do that to you. Fuck, I’m sorry, I hate that dream._  
Marcus’s phone kept going as Esca kept texting apologies and finally, Marcus just texted back.  
_I liked it._ Esca stopped texting so Marcus continued. _I mean, I was scared at first, but you marking me in front of everyone like that? I loved it._  
Esca still didn’t answer and Marcus was starting to get self-conscious.  
_Sorry. TMI?_  
_No. Never TMI. I just don’t know what to say. I didn’t know you were into that kind of PDA._  
Marcus blushed and the bell signaling the end of the period rang.  
_What can I say? I like the idea of showing you off._  
Marcus made his way down the hall to his locker, seeing Esca was at his across the hall. He noticed someone had written PROM? on someone’s locker near his and when he got closer, he realized it was his locker. Immediately, he looked to Esca. Finally, they were going to be a real couple. Esca wasn’t looking at him - but Lutor was. He was standing next to Marcus’s locker with a big grin.  
“Well, Marcus? What do you say?”  
Oh fuck. “Lutor, I told you I had a boyfriend…”  
“Sure, but he isn’t out so he won’t be taking you so why not go with someone who isn’t afraid to be seen with you?” He could see Esca out of the corner of his eye. Esca wasn’t moving, just standing in front of his open locker, hunched up like he was looking for something, but Marcus knew better. “Lutor, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea-”  
“Oh come on, Marcus. You’ve been talking about this mysterious boyfriend ever since I showed up, but everyone else I’ve talked to doesn’t know anything about him. Just come to Prom with me, we can forget about closeted men and just have a good time, and who knows? Maybe you’ll find out that having someone who is out is really important to you.”  
“It is important to me, Lutor, but I can’t force him to do anything.”  
Lutor made a frustrated sigh, but Esca couldn’t hear the conversation anymore. He felt like his life was flashing before his eyes, like the world was being torn out from under him. All he could hear was Marcus’s words ringing in his ears. All the times Marcus had talked about wanting him to come out, how he was always talking about wanting to show Esca off, how he pretended to enjoy being raped just so Esca wouldn’t feel bad. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t watch Marcus go to prom with Lutorio, he couldn’t watch them go around the school, being out and gay together while he sat in the corner of the room pretending he wasn’t madly in love with someone who didn’t love him back. They were big and built like weightlifters, people wouldn’t beat them for being faggots; they weren’t scrawny little boys with no family and no money to protect them. But if the choices were losing Marcus or dying, he knew which one he would choose. He was in the middle of a crowded hallway but it didn’t matter. None of it mattered when it came to Marcus.  
“Lutorio, step off my fucking boyfriend!” The hallway went silent and Esca felt like he was going to pass out. He slammed his locker shut and walked over to a shocked Lutorio, “that’s right, I’m the faggot that likes getting Marcus’s cock up his ass. Fuck you going to do about it?” He noticed everyone was staring at him. “Fuck all of you!”  
“Esca-” It was Marcus, he was reaching for Esca’s arm, but Esca couldn’t do it.  
“Don’t touch me, Marcus! Isn’t this what you wanted? For everyone to know?” He didn’t want for Marcus to answer. He turned and ran out of the school like the coward he was.

Marcus had gone to Esca’s room but he wasn’t there. It wasn’t just that he wasn’t answering the door, Marcus had gone around and peered into the window like a fucking stalker. The room had been empty. Esca wasn’t answering his calls or texts either, so finally Marcus headed back to Math. Maybe Esca was there.  
He wasn’t. “Mr. Aquila, nice of you to join us.” He blushed under Mr. Guern’s stern gaze.  
“Sorry, sir.”  
“I don’t suppose Mr. Mac Cunoval was with you?”  
“No, sir. I don’t know where it is.” He took his seat, surprised to see Liathan in the seat that was usually Lutor’s. Lutor was sitting one row over, looking annoyed at being displaced.  
“Aquila.” Marcus turned to look at Liathan, “I heard about Esca. If he’s not here and you don’t know where he is, I’m skipping next class to look for him. I’ve been texting the team and we’re all in. You in?”  
Marcus nodded, his heart in his throat. He knew Esca needn’t have worried, he just hoped he got the chance to show Esca that.

Esca didn’t know where he was running, but he couldn’t stop. Thoughts swirled through his mind, feeling the last semblances of control slipping away from his life. No matter who had beaten him, who had mocked him, he’d always guarded his secret with his life. Now even that was gone. He didn’t know how to get that control back. Cutting, drinking, suicide, none of it felt right.  
He finally stopped when he couldn’t run anymore, practically collapsing on the curb. He looked around, realizing he had come back to an old stomping ground. The shadier part of town was full of skeevy bars where they never checked his ID and he could always find someone down for a bar fight. If he wasn’t so damn tired and depressed, he might have gone in one. Turns out he didn’t need to go looking for a fight.  
“You fucking little faggot!”  
Esca turned, scrambling for his feet but falling back down when his exhausted legs gave out under him. “Todd. I heard you were in jail.”  
“Yeah, I was you little bastard. Luckily, the State’s little witness was too much of a pussy to show up and testify so I got off. But don’t you worry, I’m going to make sure you never get a chance to testify again.” Todd drew a knife and in the middle of the day in a busy part of town, flew at Esca.

Liathan had paired up with Marcus, knowing a lot of the places Esca used to go. “You know, you probably can’t tell, but we used to be best friends. Before his parents and brothers died.”  
Marcus looked over, feeling a little jealous and wondering why Liathan was bringing this up. “I didn’t know that.”  
“Yeah. We were inseparable. Esca was different before he lost his family. You wouldn’t recognize him. He was happy and so outgoing that it was exhausting. We told each other everything, or at least I told him everything. I always felt there was something he wasn’t telling me. I knew his dad beat him because he thought he was gay due to some incident when he was younger, but I never knew if it was true or not. I kind of suspected, the way he was with women almost seemed like overcompensating to me, but I didn’t know.”  
“So there was nothing between you two?” Marcus didn’t mean to ask, it was stupid, but the fond way he talked about Esca stirred something in him he had never felt before. He hoped this wasn’t how Esca felt with Lutor all the time. No wonder Esca was always so angry, he was feeling it too. An anger that wanted to protect Esca, to defend him from any other man that would have him-  
Liathan’s laughter interrupted him, “Relax, tiger. I actually prefer women. Esca is my best friend, nothing more. I just, I fucked up when his family died. I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing. All of us, all of his team, said nothing. I know he thinks we don’t care about him but he’s wrong. We do. That’s why we’re all here, looking for him. Because we failed him once when he needed us and we don’t want to fail him again.”  
The anger died down in Marcus and he felt guilty. “Thank you. I hope you get the chance to tell him that.”  
Suddenly, Marcus’s phone was ringing and his heart leaped, “Esca? Where are you? We’re all looking for you-”  
“Sir?”  
Marcus stopped at the unfamiliar voice at the other end, “Hello? Who is this?”  
“This is Officer McGregor. Unified Police. You’re listed as the emergency contact in this phone. You said it belongs to an Esca?”  
Marcus swallowed hard, “Yes sir. Is he ok?”  
There was a pause and Marcus felt sick, “The EMTs think he will be, but he is in critical condition right now. He’s been stabbed multiple times and is currently on-route to North-star Hospital. Would you be able to come to the hospital and help us fill in some gaps?”  
“Yes, of course. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Marcus was getting really fucking tired of seeing Esca passed out in a hospital bed. 11 stab wounds, eleven! Fucking hell, Esca had been in surgery for hours as they sewed everything up. Marcus had been in the waiting room the whole time once the cops had let him go, watching as most of Esca’s teammates came and went. Once Esca was out and allowed to have brief visits, they had come in to see him. Marcus wasn’t sure how he had managed to be allowed to stay while the rest had been kicked out after visiting hours, but he wondered if it was because he had been listed as the emergency contact. Or maybe because he had given the hospital his credit card should Esca need anything. He had called his Uncle to let him know that he wouldn’t be coming home any time soon, and his Uncle had been the one to suggest it. He knew his Uncle liked Esca…  
He had been asleep in the chair next to Esca’s bed the first time Esca had shown any signs of life after the operation. The doctor had said he wanted to keep Esca asleep for the next 24 hours, but when the Briton had started to moan quietly in his sleep, Marcus had called for the nurse. Fortunately, it seemed the only problem was that his pain medication had worn off. Once that had been re-upped, both boys had drifted off to sleep once more.

\-----

Esca had been stuck in the hospital for a week and a half, and although Marcus had visited every day for hours, the time had still gone slowly. He kept thinking about what Todd had said. No one had told him there would be a trial, that he was supposed to show up. Then again, the cops probably hadn’t known how to get ahold of him. Or maybe they just hadn’t cared. All of his teammates and Coach Dinklage had been in to visit him, and all talked about how worried they were, but he still wasn’t convinced that they liked him. They probably just wanted Esca to get better so he could go back to attracting scouts to watch the team play.  
It was the last day before his release when Marcus arrived with Coach Dinklage in tow. Esca frowned at the pile of envelopes his coach was carrying.  
“Esca,” Marcus started in that tone of voice that said he thought Esca might be mad at him, “I know you didn’t want to go to college but I talked to Dinklage and he helped me out with getting footage of you playing soccer - football, sorry.” Esca’s eyes narrowed, looking between the two conspirators. What were they playing at?  
“I was pissed when he told me you weren’t planning on playing for University.” Dinklage told him sternly, “So we put together an audition tape for you and sent it to the top ten Football Universities in the country along with my personal letter that you are the best player I’ve ever coached. Here are your response envelopes.”  
“We haven’t opened them, but we were hoping you would…” Marcus added, looking slightly abashed under Esca’s glare. Dinklage handed the envelopes over, not seeming at all concerned by Esca’s grumpy face.  
Esca had opened them all, but handed the envelopes back, not bothering to even look inside. “You read them. I don’t need to get rejected ten times because you guys went behind my back.”  
Marcus was torn between irritated and sorry, “You don’t even want to look at them?”  
Esca shook his head and Dinklage snatched the envelopes, shaking his head in annoyance. He pulled out the first letter and scanned it, “Cardiff, accepted, full-ride.” He tossed the letter aside and pulled the next one, “Durham, accepted, covering tuition and books, find your own housing.” He looked at Marcus, “I’m sure Aquila will cover your housing.” He picked up the next, “USW, accepted, full-ride. Do I need to continue, Mac Cunoval, or are you done having a pity-party? I’ve got ten envelopes here and so far all three I have opened want you and are willing to pay for you to come.” Esca had grown quiet, looking down like a chastised child. This seemed to ease the Coach’s annoyance. “You’re a much better player and a much better person than you give yourself credit for, Mac Cunoval. Any of these schools will be lucky to have you.” He gave Marcus a curt nod before heading out of the room.  
Esca is pissed that his eyes have watered, but at least the first tear waited to fall until after Dinklage left. Marcus was pulling out letters and reading them silently so at first, he didn’t notice Esca was crying. When he finally did, he dropped the papers and climbed on Esca’s bed, enveloping him in his arms, “Esca… Talk to me, what is it?”  
Esca’s first reaction was to say no, pretend there weren’t tears streaming down his face, but finally, “I’m tired and I’m tired of being here and everything hurts and when I was getting stabbed was the first time in a long time I didn’t want to die and I don’t know what to do.”  
Marcus wiped at Esca’s tears with his thumb before kissing his cheek. “You don’t have to decide what to do today. We have all the time in the world. If you don’t want to go to any of these places, you don’t have to. We can figure something out.” He leaned in and kissed Esca’s pale, chapped lips. “I’m glad you’re here. I don’t know what I’d do without you, and frankly, I’m tired of having to visit you in the hospital.”  
For a moment, Esca’s blood ran cold. At least until he realized Marcus meant that as ‘stop ending up in the hospital’ rather than ‘you’re too much trouble’. “I’m tired of being in the hospital. I don’t get my stitches out for two weeks, but at least I get to go home tomorrow.”  
“Yep, and I’ve already bought a second bed for your room!”  
Esca groaned, but they both knew he didn’t really mean it.

\-----

Marcus had helped Esca home the next day, but it had been later in the evening before they both finally got settled. Marcus had said that the cook from his Uncle's house insisted on cooking them real food and delivering it, and they had both been so tired of hospital food that they hadn’t argued much. It had been a simple mac and cheese, but it seemed like the best thing Esca had ever eaten. This was how Marcus always ate? Why wasn’t he fat?! Esca was pretty sure he wouldn’t have been able to skip as many meals if this had been his option. Marcus helped Esca to the shower, both of them wanting to clean the stench of the hospital off while Marcus insisted Esca needed to be careful about all his stitches. They pulled whenever he didn’t take it easy, so it wasn’t hard to tell when he overtaxed himself.  
The shower made Esca sleepy, and Marcus practically had to drag him back to the room and tuck him into bed.  
“Marcus?” Esca had been so quiet Marcus had thought he’d fallen asleep.  
“Hm?” Marcus was getting sleepy too.  
“Are there any of those schools you want to go to? I haven’t really put any thought into it, but I want you to be happy wherever we go. Because I would go wherever you went.”  
Marcus smiled, feeling the same way, “I’ve been thinking, I’d like to get a degree in social work and maybe after that go into the police.”  
Esca frowned, “why? The police are dangerous.”  
“Yeah, but I want to help you. And people like you. A lot of people failed you, Esca. I want to help make sure that doesn’t happen again.”  
Esca didn’t answer and Marcus started to doze off again.  
“I love you.”  
Marcus smiled, his eyes still closed, “I love you too.”

Marcus woke up early the next morning and one glance at Esca told him he wasn’t well. It was cool in the room but Esca was pale and sweating - and shivering? He called the number Esca’s doctor had given him, relaying what he was seeing and demanding to know if he needed to bring Esca back in.  
“Just watch him for a few hours. If he doesn’t get worse, it is probably a small virus and shouldn’t be anything to worry about. His body has been working hard on healing itself so it doesn’t have the strength it usually does to fight off things like a cold or flu. Just take care of him the way you normally would when someone has the flu and he should recover soon. Sometimes when we have been stressed for a long time and then suddenly start to relax - say when we have been in the hospital and suddenly get to go home - we relax a little too much and the things our body has been holding off come in. Get acetaminophen or ibuprofen, make sure he gets lots of clear fluids, and lots of rest. If he is too hot you can put a wet, cold rag on his head, that should help stop the sweating which will help him keep the fluids he has. If he gets worse, bring him in.”  
Marcus didn’t want to leave him to get drugs, pacing around for a minute before deciding to call Liathan. He’d said he wanted to help, right?  
“Ugh, fuck, Marcus it’s 8 am on a Saturday. What is it?”  
“Esca has the flu and I was hoping you could help me and get him some drugs while I keep an eye on him.”  
There was a long pause and Marcus could hear the rustle of cloth, “Ok. Yeah, I’ll be there soon.”

Liathan stayed with the two almost all day, as much keeping an eye on Esca as he was entertaining Marcus. They watched movies and Marcus realized he had more in common with Liathan than he would have expected. Although, as long as he cared about Esca as much as he seemed to, that was really all that mattered.  
Liathan brought the three of them some dinner before saying goodnight and heading out when it got dark. Marcus ate his dinner while he waited for Esca’s broth to cool enough that he didn’t have to worry about hurting him. When it was warm, but no longer hot, he picked up the dish and went to sit on Esca’s bed.  
“Esca? Esca, it’s dinner time.”  
Esca moaned softly, his eyes opening but not really focusing. “What day is it?”  
“It’s Saturday evening, you’ve been asleep for most of the day. It’s time for dinner and another painkiller. Then you can go back to sleep.”  
Esca made another noise of exhaustion and Marcus carefully slipped an arm under his shoulders and helped him sit up. Carefully, he held the bowl as Esca drank. It took almost a half hour for Esca to finish everything, but when he was done he felt a little better and leaned against Marcus with a little more intention rather than simply out of necessity. “Thanks, Marcus. I was hoping you staying with me would be a little more fun than this.”  
Marcus smiled, “Watching you sleep all day is so much fun… So fun that I invited Liathan over to fetch you some drugs and keep you company.”  
Esca raised an eyebrow, “You must have been bored.”  
“Well, he’s not as bad as I thought. He told me who you were before your family…”  
Esca sighed, “Yeah. I was different then…” He trailed off, starting to get sleepy again. “Love you.”  
Marcus smiled, letting Esca lay back down and kissing his too warm forehead. “Love you too.”

\-----

Esca felt a little bad he hadn’t made some big display to ask Marcus to prom, but they had discussed it and he had agreed to go. Marcus had been ecstatic but Esca had just been nervous. So far, being out had been going better than he expected, but what if people were just waiting for him to let his guard down? Like in that movie he’d watched when he was way too young, where the weird girl gets covered in blood at her prom.  
Still, it meant so much to Marcus that he couldn’t say no. Plus, prom started in an hour so it was too late to say no now, anyway. He pulled again at the charcoal suit, messing again with the royal blue tie before turning towards the door of his room. Marcus’s Uncle was coming to pick him up and take him back to the house since he wanted to see Esca and Marcus before the prom and Esca didn’t have a car.

When they made it to Marcus’s house Esca was even more nervous than when he had left his place. Silvius stopped him at the front door.  
“Wait, your tie is crooked, let me fix it.”  
Esca blushed as Marcus’s uncle fixed his tie, the small act of kindness making him more nervous. He knew it was just his brain telling him he didn’t deserve it, but he was still working on not believing all the bad thoughts he had.  
“Marcus looks very handsome in his suit,” Silvius continued, “but you may have him beat. I told him he is to have you back home by midnight. Home meaning here, of course. I know how prom night works and I would rather you two come here instead of your place. I just like to know he made it home safely.”  
Esca gave him a shy smile, “thank you, sir. I’ll make sure he gets home.”  
Silvius opened the door for him, ushering him in, “I’ll go get Marcus, I think he is still messing with his hair. Marcus!”  
Esca watched the older man head up the stairs, looking for his nephew. Marcus appeared shortly with his uncle following behind him. Fuck. Marcus looked good. Marcus looked damn good. Marcus was staring at him and stumbled a little on the stairs. Apparently, he looked good too. Esca smirked, “Like what you see?”  
Marcus made it to the bottom of the stairs, approaching Esca and putting his hands on his shoulder. “Yeah. You look amazing.”  
There was a flash and Esca realized Silvius was taking pictures. “So do you.” Esca’s mouth was suddenly dry. Staring at Marcus he forgot he was afraid of going out.  
“Come here, boys, let's get some pictures and then I can send you on your way.”

Esca was enjoying prom more than he expected. They’d turned heads when they’d arrived and Esca was surprised the attention hadn’t frightened him. Liathan had smacked his shoulder, Lutorio had complimented them, and Cottia had begged Esca to let Marcus dance with her. He’d eventually relented, but only after insisting Marcus dance with him first and that he not strain his leg.  
Marcus was dancing with her now, Esca sitting at a table with a drink and watching his date. He noticed Marcus’s dancing was getting a little stiffer and he was just about to go scold him when Marcus came back and sat down. “Did you miss me?”  
Esca smirked, leaning over to give Marcus a peck, “I suppose. Do you want me to fix your leg later?”  
Marcus leaned against Esca, his head resting on the shorter man’s. “Please.”  
Esca looked at Marcus, realized the strained look on his face wasn’t just about his leg. There was something worrying him. “What is it?”  
“I didn’t want to ruin prom.” Marcus sighed, knowing he couldn’t hide from Esca.  
“Well just tell me, and then we can go on enjoying prom. Because you know how I am going to worry about it.”  
“It’s about this summer. I’m going to have to go back to the states. My high school student visa will expire the day after school and my college student visa won’t kick in until the day before college starts. If I don’t go back I’ll get deported. But don’t worry,” Marcus added quickly, seeing the distress in Esca’s eyes, “your foster-father’s trial is this summer so it will go by really fast.”  
“No! Marcus, I was hoping you would go to the trial with me… I don't know anyone else there and no one there cares for me. I was hoping to have you there with me.”  
Marcus put an arm around him, “Uncle will go. He’d let you stay at the house with him too, he’d like the company and he’d worry about you being alone.”  
Esca looked away, knowing Marcus didn’t want to focus on this tonight. “Ok. We’ll figure something out.”

\-----

Esca lounged on the couch of the bookstore, glancing at his phone. The store was closing in 15 minutes-  
“Esca.”  
He tilted his head back to look at Marcus, “Yes, love?”  
“I have to stay late and do inventory tonight. It will be an extra couple of hours. You can stay if you want and I’ll drive you home, but I won’t be offended if you don’t want to wait.”  
Esca smiled, “I’ll wait. I can help, if you like.”  
Marcus grinned back, happy to spend more time with Esca, “I may take you up on that.”

With Esca’s help, it ended up only taking an hour to inventory the new books. They headed out to Marcus’s car together and Esca climbed in, suddenly nervous.  
“Hey, remember that first time you offered to drive me home and we sat in your car and talked for a while out here?”  
Marcus frowned, looking over at Esca, “Yeah, why?”  
Esca shifted awkwardly. “I didn’t know why I did that for a long time. You know I don’t open up to people but for some reason, I did with you almost immediately and I realize now it’s because I’ve known you my whole life. You’re the only one who’s loved me despite the mess I am.” He pulled a box out of his pocket, opening it to reveal a metal band. It was nice, he had actually asked Silvius to help him with it, promising to pay him back once he had a real job. Silvius had insisted it wasn’t necessary, but Esca still wasn’t one for charity. “I was hoping you’d marry me so I could spend the rest of my life with you?”  
Marcus stared at him, “Esca, we haven’t even graduated high school yet.”  
Esca wouldn’t let the pain of the rejection show, “I know. But if we’re married we can work on getting you a visa that won’t expire and that way even if you decide you don’t want to be married anymore in the future, you won’t have to worry about getting deported.”  
The large man took the box in one hand and held Esca’s face with the other, kissing him. “I didn’t answer your question. Of course, I’ll marry you. Even if _you_ decide you don’t want to be married anymore in the future. Because I know I won’t.”  
Esca grinned, leaning over to kiss Marcus again, “Monday morning we are skipping class and getting our marriage certificate. Your uncle already knows and has a lawyer friend start on your visa already. We will just need to attach our marriage certificate.”  
Marcus laughed, “You sly little bastard. Just can’t live without me, hm?”  
Esca smirked, “You know I can’t.”

\-----

Esca’s plan had worked and Marcus had never needed to leave England after all. He’d gone to trial every day with Esca and despite Esca’s initial hesitancy, the little Briton had answered all the questions and held his own, even when the attorney aired his dirty secrets before the jury. Marcus had never been more proud. Esca had held his chin up when the attorney had told everyone about Esca’s self-harm and had accused Esca of hurting himself. Marcus’s blood boiled and he’d had to clench his fists to stop himself from jumping to Esca’s defense. Luckily, Esca hadn’t needed his help and his foster-father was going to jail for a long time on two counts of attempted murder.

It was less than a week after the trial ended that university started, so there was a rush for the boys to move in. Silvius also knew a realtor, and since money was no problem for the family, he had insisted on buying the boys a condo for their wedding present. Esca still wasn’t sure how that was a fair trade since he still owed his new uncle-in-law for the wedding ring, but Silvius had waved Esca off everytime he brought it off.  
Marcus had brought Esca furniture shopping in preparation for move-in day and the domesticity of it all had felt foreign to Esca. When Marcus had swept Esca into his arms and carried him into the new condo, Esca had complained he wasn’t a blushing bride, but they both knew this was the start of something great.

**Author's Note:**

> An abrupt ending, I know, but just assume they will live happily ever after!


End file.
